The Light in the Woods

6/30/09 Reflections        When I wonder why God doesn’t use me more than He does, it comes to me that I’m holding myself back by not fully accounting for my failings. While I’m diligent that I don’t go out and actively commit a sin, I may overlook the human weaknesses that can lead to sin or at least to prevent a perfect union with God.

I’m the type of person who has an inner view of themselves different from what they really are. My ego thinks I’m young at heart so I’m often shocked by a glimpse in a mirror that shows I’m older than I think I am. I suspect it’s the same with my personality – to myself I appear quiet and docile; others treat me as a commanding, even controlling, presence.

Spiritually, I’m either worried that I’m making myself into something I’m not, or amazed that I truly am a spiritually-obsessed person. Sometimes I feel like the holiest person I know; sometimes I think I’m a shameless fake. Amazingly, my commitment towards God never varies even in the thick of confusion.

There’s something extremely false about me that I can never pin down. Is God showing me how fragile my spirituality is, or am I just a person trying to talk themselves into thinking they’re better than they are? Are my motives pure, or just motives that I wish were pure? And where do they fit in, the times when I feel abased by my own worthlessness? Should someone who spends much time concerned with spiritual matters even strive to examine their human nature this way? Do we get confused and go wrong by mixing the two realms? Or is the disconnect between two natures something to be expected and accepted?

I thought I was pleasing God by ignoring my ego and not engaging in introspection. Now I’m wondering if introspection is actually what’s right for me this minute in God’s eyes.  As long as I feel there is something missing in my relationship with God that keeps me from being more useful in life, I owe it to myself and to God to discover what it is and ask for God’s help on it. So I open up my human nature for God to show me where I need to improve. It must be up to God, because I tend to falsely perceive my own image. I need the truth most urgently right now and I can get that only from God.

6/28/09 Inspirations          “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

In case of conflict large or small, it doesn’t matter if afterwards my neighbor makes concessions to me or not. How he treats me is irrelevant. But however I treat him I’m treating God, and that’s what matters.

If I overlook the hurt done to me, I am mirroring God’s mercy. If I give my antagonist a chance to make things up to me without being condescending, that’s God’s method of encouraging repentance. And if I do things as God would want me to do them, I am benefiting both my neighbor and myself, and pleasing God as well.

It isn’t easy to refrain from a snide response or a quick putdown – we have this sense of justice for ourselves that keeps us ever watchful for opportunities to come to the aid of our egos.  But there is also a certain satisfaction in counting to ten and holding our peace. And often we find that this, much more than instantly standing up for ourselves, impresses and subjugates those who would treat us badly.

Being quietly and humbly righteous is the best way to “get back” at somebody because it defuses the situation, gives you the moral high ground, and makes them think twice about their own behavior and how they feel about yours. If done subtly, there’s no better response, because it opens the way for your better nature to show through, and it’s a response that pleases God. And it may even provide an opportunity to correct the situation and even make an enemy into a friend. This is an example of helping others through your own good example, and it’s available for all social situations.

But if the Patience Plan doesn’t bring about all these highly desired outcomes, it does address the thing that is of most importance – it furthers your right-relationship with God. If it does nothing else, your patience brings you closer to God and His own attributes.

6/26/09 Insights from Study       What are the attributes of God? They are what He reveals to you. He may reveal them to you by personal revelation or by enlightenment from those who have received personal revelation and passed along the experience. No matter how God reveals Himself to you, it is through the filter of individuality which God created when He created you from His own mind.

How close we are to the Creator just by means of our very creation; how blessed we are to be given spirits that can discern God and His attributes! It is through this filter of individuality that God’s will for us is disclosed. It is why two people can read scripture and come up with two degrees of worldview. It is why in spirituality there is no right or wrong belief once we have humbly and obediently asked for recognition of God’s presence and welcomed God’s control in our lives. If we would stop now and again to reflect on the enormity of the consequences of our ability to have a personal, loving relationship with God, we would feel His love greatly and recognize His presence constantly, all in the course of our daily lives.

We will not be deceived by God in this state – only by slavish devotion to someone else’s interpretation of God’s attributes cans we go astray. Through this well-intentioned restriction we deny ourselves the joy of fully and freely responding to God’s desire to deal with us personally. Our relationship with God becomes based on what someone other than God tells us is right. Why do we stand for this? We stand for it because it’s easier and we feel righteous for having fallen in line behind people who seem to know a lot about God. This is backwards! Better we should go to a quiet room and shut the door against the world, to welcome God through personal prayer and a desire to follow Him and Him only. Then we will be the ones who know a lot about God because we do not need anyone else in order to learn from him and to love Him.

This will be our God; the one who counts for us. God’s uniqueness to each of us is not because He is changeable, for He is what He is, but because we are changeable and confused by the diverging directions religions claim we cannot have. He is all things to all people – He adjusts the way His word comes to us because we are each unique in His creation. The more we build on this recognition the clearer God will be to us as we allow Him our very essence. Our differences don’t matter because our focus is on the only important thing – to know God as He wishes to be known and to love Him above all else.

6/26/09 Insights from Study                So often we worship Jesus as man instead of God. Son of God? In the kingdom of reality there are no fathers, sons, mothers, daughters, spouses, cousins, aunts or uncles. All are of one mind and that is the mind of God. Jesus is God – plain and simple. God comes to us in any form He chooses; as a hummingbird like the one this morning looking through my screen, or as Jesus 2000 years ago. It is God, coming to interact with us out of love, out of His care for us, out of His desire to usher us peacefully into His kingdom, purified by death to this world. The father/son thing – it’s an analogy anyone who has a relationship with God does not really understand because the fact that Jesus is God is so ingrained in them. It’s a prop for people still so obsessed with life in this world that they must gauge everything by human standards.

Religion is ruined for me because of its labels – once we label something we claim to know it to the point where we can judge it. Who cares about human constructs, human likes and dislikes, human judgments and condemnations, human laws and legislatures, human wants and needs, human sins and weaknesses and failings and misunderstandings? God cares for none of this so much as for even the most sinful of us. He could eliminate any of this or any of us all in the wink of an eye. God cares for each of us alone as a beloved creation – beyond that we are not labeled, because beyond that there is nothing of importance.

If only we treated God as faithfully – to know what He’s saying to us as much as we can and loyally assuming the rest as something God does to our benefit. Then labels wouldn’t be needed to prop up our love for God because God’s love will come through loud and clear. It’s not a formula devised by humans to prove you are saved — it’s a connection desired by God and put into force in you by His wishes. It’s this relationship you must claim in order to experience the fullest joy you can obtain, and when you make it all there is in your life, you are as complete as you can be.

6/21/09 Insights from Prayer           How do I worship God? I worship Him when I praise Him; that is all He needs to channel His grace to me. How do I praise Him?

I praise Him when I count to ten before speaking out in anger. I praise Him when I defend someone who is the victim of gossip. He must smile when I put a dollar in a beggar’s cup, look longingly at His rainbow, swim in the ocean and think of His mightiness, buy a gift, lie in bed sick and pray for recovery, read a book to a child, plant grass seed. All these things are praise to God if I am willing to live in His presence by doing His will.

There’s something in the Bible that makes me cringe every time I read of it. In Revelation there are these 24 elders, and when something momentous happens the 24 elders immediately fall down before the throne and worship. Right or wrong, whatever it is in the makeup of western society, when we see people fall down in worship, we instantly think “brainwashed, cultists with no independent thoughts.” But because it’s in the Bible, our churches need to ritualize worship some way similar without making the general populace feel uncomfortable.

No wonder secularism is taking over the West. No matter how we spin it, worship of God is linked in our minds with human degradation. Maybe we’ve watched too many Hollywood renditions of third-world ritualism – worship by ritual begins to seem faintly backward. We don’t like to think of ourselves as inferior beings with sinful natures. To heighten our sense of atonement, churches emphasize our sinful nature, but they stop short of making us fall prostrate before a throne. We won’t do it – it seems phony. Before too long it may all seem phony – bowing our heads, folding our hands in prayer, being on our knees after the age of eight, carrying around a Bible, discussing our religious thoughts, uttering God’s name outside of profanity, attending church, going to confession.

I’m not making a judgment call — if you are comfortable doing these things you have found your path. I’m merely stating that spiritual persons that don’tfeel comfortable doing these things are no less spiritual for that. They in fact have an advantage because the privateness of their worship underscores the individual nature of a right-relationship with God; one that does not need to be showcased and therefore is open to genuineness. Behind the closed door of your spirit you are free to be as humble and obedient as you feel.

I wouldn’t argue with the objection that a true believer ought to be willing to go outside of their comfort zone if required. I’m just skeptical of how often God requires this and to what extent does it go on before it becomes ego-driven. I do not and never will, unless told to directly by God, believe that evangelizing others into Christianity is a requirement for entry into heaven, yet I would do it whenever inspired to by God’s Holy Spirit.

The point of it all is that once I am blessed to enter into a right-relationship with God, I am able to discern His will and would have His help in carrying it out.  I don’t need anything else, and God does not need anything else from me. Living the presence of God, I will do what He asks, and nothing He asks will feel degrading or uncomfortable no matter how it seems to others.  In His wisdom God may test me, change my mind, or lead me in ways I don’t understand or would rather not go. At least my praise will be genuine, my worship appropriate, and my works God-directed; all because instead of following a church I am following God’s design for me as an individual. To those who say: How can you be sure? I answer: If God is capable of leading me astray when I humbly ask for His guidance, then all believers are hopelessly deceived and we should all settle for secularism.

All faith is based on divine inspiration, and the moment this seems to stop is the moment we realize our worship and praise has not been sincere enough for God’s grace to attend to us. We need to go back to the basics – the point where it’s just God and me enjoying each other’s presence and straightening things out between us. This presence is what makes me praise God, and my praise is the worship He seeks.

6/19/09 Insights from Study         When you put God first, you have nothing to fear because the thing you care most about cannot fail, and the things that can fail are not your greatest consideration.

In such simplicity it’s easy to concentrate; that’s why mysticism leads to contemplation. In contemplation we put ourselves in quiet reception of the mind of God. We draw within ourselves in order to block out the distractions of anything that is not God. This is a mental clearing away, so as to concentrate on the one true thing – God’s love and care.

It’s not as if we have to do this in order to receive God’s message for us; if God wills it, His message will come to us no matter what we do or don’t do. But contemplation is prayer – it not only puts us into the mindset to receive the essence of God with our supernatural senses, it also serves to remind us that we have a loving God who welcomes our communication with Him. Through this prayer we feel the satisfaction of our seeking out the truly important, and in the simplicity of this prayer we’re open to understand whatever God chooses to give us – like white chalk on the clean slate of your open spirit.

If all you have is a minute of quiet and solitude, give God that minute. You will be surprised at how eager God is to reach out. In the middle of chaos, you can still receive God, for He is present always and everywhere. You can make a big difference for yourself it you will ask for the grace to feel God in your life despite life’s chaos and distraction. Even “Lord, have mercy!” is a prayer straight to God’s heart.

You must understand that where God is concerned there is no formula or ritual. He knows you perfectly, so the slightest acknowledgment from you is sufficient to please Him. Let God into your consciousness whenever you can, and the answer to everything will be there waiting.