Humanity and Divinity
11/7/09 Inspirations Ever since my Great Epiphany coming up on 5 years ago, I’ve been beating myself up over the fact that, much as I want to, I really don’t like people all that much.
Now that I feel so much closer to God, I assumed that I would become the ideal – someone who sees all human beings as children of God, and projects God’s love for His children as my own love for my brothers and sisters all-inclusively. When that didn’t happen I began to think of myself as the problem.
It’s true that the effort to love my neighbor is still my goal because it fits with what I know of what God wants, but the closer I get to God the further I get from people in general. The contrast between divinity and humanity becomes clearer and more essential the more I know of God. I had thought the more I experienced God the more adept I would be in pleasing Him. But when it comes to other people, all I have gained is a clearer, and darker, view of humanity. I see us as walking egos, opposed to the goodness and mercy of God at every turn.
As the contrast between divinity and humanity grows in knowledge and grace in me, I’ve seemed to have drifted in the opposite direction that greater experience of God should have led me. Is this God teaching me through contrast again? I believe it is. Somehow it fits that this disdain for humanity, including my own, must dominate me for a while. It is a process I must learn to accept and quit fighting against.
With the darkest view of what people are as a whole emerges a brightness whenever an individual breaks through with unexpected goodness. This is what I am meant to learn in the main – that individuals can overcome the egoism of humanity and radiate loving attributes of divinity. And they do if I look with purpose for this phenomenon. Because I’ve concentrated on the worst that is in people I am that much more in awe of the goodness of individuals when it emerges out of the darkness.
This is a theory, but one thing I do know is that God is working on me as He is working on us all. What a privilege to be shaped by our Creator, and to be able to contribute to the process with His blessing.
