The Light in the Woods

#9 – THE LIGHT IN THE WOODS – APRIL 2006

 

© Aubri Dennison 2006

 

4/1/06 Revelations         “I said I require you to be willing to give up comforts of home and family for my sake — not that I would necessarily require you to actually do it.”

 

4/1/06 Reflections            I hope to always treasure and recognize and appreciate the times when I ask God for guidance and I immediately receive it. There are two kinds of deception to watch out for in this endeavor – deception of the devil to mislead my interpretation, and deception of others, often very learned and religious people, to downplay and criticize the truth of God’s active and clear intervention in a person’s life when the person has asked for it specifically. The second deception is more devastating because at least with the devil the effects are unmistakably evil. With well-meaning ignorants, you’re more likely to take their doubts to heart because their motives don’t appear to be evil. But they tend to lead you away from the perfect path all the same.

 

4/2/06 Inspirations            My diet and exercise program is too much about what I’m doing and not enough about what God is working toward in me. I think I’ve successfully stuck by Him just as He does for me in good times and in bad times — now I think the reward is the understanding that even when He pulls back the grace that was making me succeed, the lesson is that all is His work. Knowing this, I think I’m ready more than ever to get back to the righteousness and satisfaction I felt when things were going well in our partnership. But this time, I will take the steps that will lessen the emphasis on me and my ideas of how to proceed, and do more to leave it up to God. I hope I’m right and that following this kind of program brings me out of this slump, because this dryness has been devastating for my body.

 

4/2/06 Reflections        The soul has intellect, memory, instinct, imagination, emotion and will. The spirit is divinity — the presence of God and the perfection of all the above faculties of the soul. My goal is to get close enough to God to exact His favor of letting my spirit show through onto my soul so I can be an inspiration for others.

 

4/2/06 to 4/3/06 Insights from Prayer           This night I couldn’t stop praying for the first time in my life — what a weird feeling. I decided to give my worries about diet and exercise over to God, because I can’t seem to get back to the way I was when I was getting healthy and feeling close to God because of the help He was giving me. I was thinking of trying to let Him decide what I should eat and when. In the morning I started out well, but by the end of the day I had consumed 10,000 calories and done no exercises. I’m confused as to my role — I know God’s role, but I’m not sure about my role. I understand how dryness and trials are supposed to build confidence and collaboration with God, but I don’t know how to respond. The longer I go without diet and exercise the further I feel from God’s favor; however, the more devout and loyal to Him I become. It’s hard to explain the dichotomy, but there it is. I have learned that my faith is strong, but I fear that good health may not be in God’s plan for me and I fear that good health is in God’s plan for me but that I’m not doing my part for fear of giving food too much consideration at a time when I’m learning to put away the things of the world. I’m not sure which way to go and today I find that I’m not successful in letting God take my worry about it on Himself, so all avenues seem closed. And yet there is the righteous feeling that I’m going to accept it all because deep down inside I understand the way of perfection.

 

4/3/06 Insights from Prayer            Yesterday evening, after a very productive Lord’s day, I finally decided, with much prayer, to give my will over to God, with all that entails according to what I’ve learned. I thought that today I’d feel special, but so far I don’t especially. I even, out of nowhere, got the distinct temptation to lose my temper, which hasn’t happened to me for a while. So why today? Maybe God refused my abandonment to Him. Maybe I’m still not ready and this was God’s way of proving it. Maybe there’s no such thing as abandonment of will after all. Maybe there’s no God to abandon my will to. Maybe God accepted my offer but wants to let me know the temptations will still be there, but that once I’ve given Him my will I will not be giving in to the temptations. Or maybe abandonment of will to God doesn’t change much of what I can see. It seems like, if my will and God’s will are the same, anger or the temptation to it would not be a factor because God doesn’t strive for anger. Or is anger an acceptable tool for God? The questions are many and the answers are none. I will need to reflect a whole lot more, but I’m happy with my decision and am not about to take my will back — the one thing I’m sure of is that it wasn’t doing the world much good in my hands and that in God’s hands my will is better off. It could be that true abandonment of one’s will to God is a process which takes leaps and sometimes goes backwards. If I’m truly serious about it then I wouldn’t need answers to my questions in order to carry on; faith would prevail and I can rest in the glow of letting God guide me His way. So maybe this, after all, is what I did last night – not what I thought and so not resulting in what I expected. I think instead of giving up my will to God’s own, I rather just made the move to dump everything concerning me into His lap, just as He wants me to. This I can do just by saying I’m doing it, whereas self-abandonment takes an active role of introspection and self-denial I haven’t yet mastered. I made an important move, though, by giving up my life to God’s “to do” list, for someone whose lifestyle has forever been one of self-determination and responsibility. I’ve offered the whole works up to God to run, an easy thing to do but also something contrary to my nature.

 

4/5/06 Reflections           Because of confusion as to my motives and God’s desire concerning my diet and exercise program, which apparently is closely linked to my friendship with God, I’ve written up some basics to remember:

AT HIS REQUEST, I HAVE ASKED FOR GOD’S HELP WITH MY ADDICTION; AS HE PROMISED, HE HAS GIVEN IT TO ME

 

IT’S HIS WILL THAT, INSTEAD OF BEING INSTANTLY CURED, I BE ALLOWED TO SACRIFICE IN ORDER TO BRING ABOUT HEALING IN LOVING PARTNERSHIP WITH GOD

 

BECAUSE WHAT I ASKED FOR IS A WORTHY CAUSE THAT BRINGS ME CLOSER TO GOD, I’M CONFIDENT THAT HE WILL CONTINUE TO HELP ME AND ACCEPT MY SACRIFICE UNTIL SUCCESS IS ASSURED, IN WHATEVER FORM IT TAKES

 

WHEN THERE ARE SETBACKS I MUST REMEMBER THAT ALONG THE WALK WITH GOD ARE OBSTACLES WHICH HE ALLOWS IN ORDER TO GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO RENOUNCE TEMPTATION AND REAFFIRM MY FEELING OF UNITY WITH AND RELIANCE ON HIM

 

IF AT TIMES I DON’T RENOUNCE TEMPTATION, I MUST REALIZE THAT THE LOVE OF GOD IS SO GREAT THAT I’M IMMEDIATELY WELCOMED BACK INTO HIS ARMS SO HE CAN CARRY ME UNTIL HIS GRACE MAKES ME STRONGER

 

I MUST CONTINUOUSLY PRAY — THANKING GOD FOR THE GRACE HE’S GIVEN TOWARD THE SUCCESS OF MY GOAL, AND ASKING THAT HE CONTINUE TO BLESS MY ENDEAVOR

 

THE WAY I CONDUCT MYSELF THROUGH THE WORLD IS ALSO A PRAYER WHICH REFLECTS ON GOD AND HIS FAVOR TO ME

 

IT’S WRONG TO OVERLY DWELL ON MY ADDICTION, EVEN TO BRING ABOUT GOOD RESULTS, TO THE POINT WHERE MY EARTHLY CONCERNS OVERSHADOW MY REGARD FOR GOD, WHICH SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST IN MY LIFE

 

EVEN THOUGH I’M ALLOWED TO TAKE PART IN REACHING MY GOAL, ANY ADVANCEMENT IS DUE TO THE ACCOMMODATION OF GOD; I MUST USE ANY SUCCESS FOR HIS GLORIFICATION AND NOT FOR MY OWN HONOR

 

IT’S MY DUTY AND PRIVILEGE TO SHARE WITH OTHERS WHAT I’VE LEARNED THROUGH MY WALK WITH GOD

 

4/6/06 Insights from Study           More and more I’m recognizing how definitively religion is more appropriate for the individual than for the community. We have to be right in personal relationship with God first and foremost. We use the church as a tool to do this, and after we attain this unity with God we use the church to advance it in us and in others. But the main work is done from inside us as temples for the perfect presence of God. Sometimes that means differing with the church, the Bible, and saintly teachers. If we are truly in communion with God for the right reasons, we will be graced with right thinking. God has a plan for each of us — it’s no more reasonable to think his methods are the same for us all as to think His divine plan is the same for us all. We can look around us to know the truth of this. So we take faith when someone is pulling us hard one way and our hearts are telling us to resist. At these times we let go, connect with God, and receive his grace. He will never lead us astray –we will lead ourselves wrong by trying to follow other inspirations in conflict with our own, no matter how venerable the source. If our source is God himself we must act on what we are told interiorly. My inspirations are just as valid as anybody’s.

 

4/6/06 Inspirations              How awesome it is to be able to speak whenever and wherever I want to the Creator of the universe, and He listens because He loves me and because I’m just as important to Him as the creation. Then imagine how devastating the effect of my sin would be on Him. If we knew the extent of His love and could adequately show it, who could sin?

 

4/7/06 Insights from Prayer         Sometimes when I see the loveliness of the things around me I think of how we’re constantly being told to give up the things of the world in order to get close to God. I feel close to God when I see these things because they make me think of how all was created by God. How can that be wrong? Can’t I still enjoy the earthly gifts He’s provided to me if I’m careful not to put them before thoughts of Him?

 

4/9/06 Reflections           I got to thinking of my visit to the nursing home and the warm feeling that I got — not from the fact that I made the sacrifice as I thought I would, but surprisingly from genuine care. Maybe I’m not emotionally flatlined after all. Things God wants don’t necessarily take time to develop — that’s a worldly trait. God can and does act instantly, and my feelings of love and warmth can come to the fore surprisingly and instantly. They are there all the time, but need God’s will to bring them out. I’m so used to dieting being my main thought that I expect everything to take as much patience and time as losing weight, but when God wants to act, He can act right away. So things that you think are written in stone can change in a minute or less. That makes having faith an exciting thing; the next minute might bring about something really nice.

 

4/9/06 Reflections         If God oversees every aspect of our lives, what’s the point of living? It isn’t the action, but the desire. Doesn’t God dictate our desire too? He puts the desire there, but we act to make the desire our own or reject the desire. If we accept it then He can reward us, which is what He wants to do. I just now realized that just as He’s helping me with my fast in 2005 and 2006, He helped me quit smoking in 1999. I always marveled that it was fairly effortless, but at the time I was still clueless spiritually. Looking back, I now recognize the same feeling then as now, only now I know what’s behind it. God never tries to take credit for anything — the “aha” moments we weak humans suddenly are gifted with are a better way to show His glory. I’m human though, and I still keep wishing God would insist on justice for Himself and for Jesus. Humanity requires that all know of our virtues and reward us accordingly. We need instant recognition; we need reward, and we need the two to mesh. The history of God is a string of disappointments to Him at the hands of man. And He never is shaken by this. He doesn’t stick up for Himself. He does things in secret and pins the whole loyalty of humanity on a symbol humans can’t see or understand. He patiently waits to see if we improve and we never seem to. Sometimes we regret what we do to God, but we never give up sinning. At this time of Easter it really comes home — Jesus gave hints that He would have to die for a huge purpose — for man’s salvation. But He never explained it clearly. So through man’s ignorance Jesus’ death came and went and to most he appeared to be a failure. To those of us who do believe, it seems a failure that others don’t believe. But time reels on and God still encourages us to gain from the death of Christ. The resurrection is the answer to everything in God’s divine plan — why the secrecy? We want to rant and rave at God when we so desperately need Him to take over the reins of the world and start kicking butt. Yet He doesn’t work that way, and because we do, we don’t understand God’s way. It’s frustrating to try to understand divinity with a human brain. We aren’t required to understand, but another human trait is to need knowledge.

 

4/11/06 Reflections        I have trouble living my faith out loud. Today we were saying good-bye to my daughter at the lodge because we knew when we went back to the boathouse we were going to put up the snowmobiles and stay off the ice. She was going to stay at the lodge alone, and I was moved for the three of us to pray for all our safety. But it was easier to say to myself that praying is better done in private — that’s the way I am and to do otherwise would be like bragging up my spirituality, and may make other uncomfortable besides. There are a lot of excuses for not being public with our faith, but I wish I could be. Maybe I can start by saying “Praise God!” more — it’s as unobtrusive as “God bless you” and is non-denominational; only atheists could be offended and I wouldn’t mind offending them.

 

4/11/06 Reflections           God knows all about prayer being interrupted by our lives — it’s the life He’s given us after all; the thing to be the distraction to overcome. He knows my prayer for Him is in my heart always.

 

4/11/06 Reflections           Spiritual gifts of comfort have already been given, and lie inside us. It’s our recognizing and accepting of God that releases them. When God is constantly a part of our thoughts, we tend to recognize our spiritual gifts.

 

4/11/06 Reflections       I think I know now how we can “pray without ceasing”. Once you begin to consciously pray and spiritual awareness becomes available through grace, it gets easier and more effortless until it’s an almost constant state of God-mindedness.

 

4/11/06 Inspirations           I just now realized an extra significance of the time when Jesus spoke to me to tell me that I didn’t need to actually have a Eucharistic host with me in order to adore him. Organized religions argue over whether or not there is a real presence of Jesus in the Eucharistic bread and wine as soon as it’s blessed during the liturgy. Now I’ve come far enough in my walk with God to understand — of course there is the real presence in the communion wafer and it’s not a big deal; His presence is everywhere all the time anyway. To argue over “real presence” at all is to degrade the impact of omnipresence, which is the mobilizer of our faith. Let others who need symbolism eat consecrated bread in order to put Christ “within” themselves. I believe Christ is God, and God is within me and has been since the Resurrection. He may sometimes hide from me but He never forsakes me. Ironically, those very same magistrates that decree that I must take communion in order to experience Christ are the ones who deny it to me. I’m so much closer to God now that I’ve given up on the church as a devotional institution that I find it pitiful to need the symbolism it offers. It can’t offer me grace, or forgiveness, or salvation — yet they would look down on me for being “unchurched”. I’m unchurched because God has chosen me to respond to his personal offer of instruction and guidance. I’m so glad I wasn’t too wrapped up with “church” in order to hear His call. I remember how pious and peaceful I used to feel after confession and communion. I feel that way now by active personal prayer and contemplation, but back then I needed the sacraments. I’m glad for the instruction I received then, but that was background and I’ve moved on. By God’s grace I can now receive what I need from him directly from within myself. If I hadn’t been denied Communion I never would have thrown all I had into finding God on my own. If I’d felt welcomed by the Church I would have taken it’s name and let it do the work for me. How grateful I am to God for giving me the opportunity to know Him as He did. He always knows what I need; He must also pay attention to what I don’t need.

 

4/13/06 Insights from Prayer          God doesn’t get exasperated with our unworship, misworship, or lackadaisical worship of Him because He’s the one who allowed us our faulty natures as punishment for original sin. He’s not surprised, so He’s not exasperated.

 

4/14/06 Insights from Study           Whatever God gives us can only result in our betterment, whether He give us consolation or trials. He only gives us good gifts.

 

4/14/06 Insights from Study                 I once saw a show that took us through the places of Jesus’ life story. Today is Good Friday and I concentrated on the Stations of the Cross — it reminded me how this documentary showed what was believed to be the tomb of Jesus. I though it was neat to somewhat be close to the important thing that took place on that very spot, but I also thought there’s an excellent chance that this was not Jesus’ tomb after all. The smartest, holiest and most inspired people can put their heads together, and still be not exactly sure they’re right. Like the Bible, if you desire to give God your total being, it doesn’t really matter what you’re not sure of. God will fill in the blanks if He wants you to know, and if He doesn’t what you to know, just be grateful for what He gives.

 

 

4/14/06 Reflections                 The Passion of Christ rings so true — it jibes with history of the time and the customs of the time. Of all the events of the Bible, the Passion is the one thing that makes sense because it’s ugly, unjust, painful, degrading and incomprehensible — these are all things of the Earth; easy for us to imagine. Horrible as it was, it was necessary in order to make a reasonable impression on us, and to give us a backdrop on which to pain the kingdom of heaven, where there are no such evils and where, thanks to Jesus’ messy death, we know we can enter. The Passion had to bring the apostles and disciples to rock bottom despair so that the Resurrection could lift them up to dedication to their duties in order to spread the faith.

 

4/14/06 Reflections            Really, when all is said and done, nothing about God and His creation make much sense to us — our job is to love Him anyway and trust that all is well and good without our knowledge or help. Whatever we get above and beyond that is a bonus.

 

4/15/06 Insights from Study          Could my emotional flatlining be a preparation for rare perfect spiritual love to develop? Am I more chosen than deficient?

 

4/16/06 Insights from Study             Jesus is a part of God, sent down to assimilate us with His death and Resurrection. We are allowed to have the full chance to be Jesus, child of God with eternal life. Now Jesus is in God and God is in us. All death, Jesus’ from the beginning and ours forever more, is a victory over the devil. With Easter God declares all will reign with Him in heaven as long as they accept Jesus’ lifestyle, which was humility and obedience to God — while we can’t be sinless like Jesus we can, with our free will, avoid sin and become like Jesus — the Jesus who is united with God and lives in us. When we go to God within us He helps us out of our sinfulness and into life everlasting with Him in His full glory undimmed by earthly pall.

 

4/16/06 Reflections         I live on a different plane than most people, but on the same plane as the best.

 

4/16/06 Reflections               I heard an argument on the radio about if Christians are right or wrong on the day and the hour that Christ rose from the dead. This is another reason why organized religion bothers me — we have to argue over interpretations, like Jesus and the Pharisees. After the Passion took place, I don’t think God cares how we worship anymore as long as we worship Him and worship sincerely. So I think all who worship are saved a place with God in eternity — all argument about how is comes about is vanity.

 

4/16/06 Insights from Prayer             Jesus is a great historical figure even if you don’t worship Him as Son of God. You can still imitate Him by being as good as He was. I think this is what was meant when He said if anyone wanted to know the Father they had to know Jesus. I have trouble believing that Jesus died for all men, and then will allow only those who are Christians into heaven; that can’t be right.

 

4/16/06 Insights from Prayer           God prepares a place for us in Heaven by measuring out His grace to us on Earth. He gives us grace when we trigger this by asking Him. Asking implies the humility we need to gain Heaven. I have trouble believing that good works and sacrifice don’t please God, just acceptance of Him. If we accept Him and are moved to do good works and sacrifice in His name, is that displeasing to Him? Some say so, based on a Bible verse in Proverbs. I say no, based on my common sense, which is every bit as inspired as the writers of scripture.

 

4/18/06 Insights from Prayer               Dear God, I feel your guidance when I lose something; when I find it I recognize your hand in my finding it. It happened again today, this time with half of my “Try God” tie pin. It’s like you’re saying “I’m here with you.” I already know it, but it’s a favor to hear it. It said in my spiritual readings this morning “Don’t try to be a mystic — that’s God’s doing”. Well, If God lives in us we’re all mystics, and if that’s God’s doing it’s often because we invite Him to talk to us, and we listen when He does. I used to rage against luck and fate; now I don’t rage at them because I don’t believe in them. All is God and God is with us and within us.

 

4/20/06 Insights from Study          Jesus’ own words tell me how to use the talents God gave me for His glory:

 

• feed the hungry

• provide good water to the thirsty

• provide shelter for a stranger

• provide clothing for the poor

• visit the sick

• visit the imprisoned

These God has promised to provide man, and we can glorify God by helping our neighbor even while we’re still in the process of perfecting our abandonment of our wills to God. Maybe it was wrong of me to wait for God to show me my calling in prayer, when I can begin immediately by using His grace to figure out how to do the above things. If I can help those in need with their basic comforts maybe their souls can be freed to seek God’s kingdom.

 

4/20/06 Reflections        God created the universe, and continues to be immanent in it. He let our ancestors evolve until the time during their development when He was ready to breathe a soul and spirit into them. It’s this breath of soul by which God made humanity superior to all other creation on Earth, and the breath of spirit which made man into the image of God. Our inheritance as children of God didn’t preclude humanity from sin; in fact, the free will which was given to us by God allowed us to make choices which immediately led to a sinful nature becoming inherent in us. So prevalent is sin that individuals could not avoid it by free will alone, therefore, man couldn’t enjoy the perfection of life on Earth that God had meant for Him. In order to return humanity to its original state of perfection God had to do two things — make it possible for Him to forgive man’s sins, and provide divine help for man to avoid further sin. He sent a manifestation of Himself as full man and full divinity to illustrate the terms of this new covenant just as He always wanted for us — that if we glorify Him by our humility and obedience during our time on the imperfect Earth we will be born again into a new kingdom which He’s prepared for us; unsullied by the consequences of sin. Through Jesus’ atonement for the sins of humanity God can at last accept man’s contrition — we are forgiven of our sins and again afforded a place of everlasting life with God in pure and total peace, joy and love. We still have to bear the consequences of sin in this life, and we still have our free will and can still accept or reject our second chance, but Jesus’ life, death and resurrection illustrates that we will be dealt with by God as individuals, in spite of our humanity, which is still prone to sin. Because our sins can be wiped clean, God makes Himself and His divinity present within the individual. He is willing and anxious to demonstrate His love by affording each person special graces. These graces can be asked for by thought, word, or deed of the person. In giving these favors, God pulls back the curtain between soul and spirit, put there by sin and keeping us from perfect knowledge of our divinity. He welcomes our thanks, especially if we show it by allowing ourselves to be used by Him to afford the basic needs to others — pure water, fresh air, healthy food, and a good relationship with God.

 

4/20/06 Insights from Prayer            I’ve been asking for enlightenment, and refinement of my personal beliefs has been coming through. I’m recording this doctrine elsewhere, but I’m moved to write down here how grateful I am to be honored by this regard God has shown me in answering my prayer. The more love God shows me this way, the harder it is to resist feeling special, and above all things I want to be humble in the presence of God. Will I ever be able to pass this knowledge on to others without sounding “holier-than-thou”? Sure, if that’s God’s plan. Otherwise – no, and I will be content with that. It’s my human need that makes me impatient for my calling, but God’s will must come first, whatever that is. To study and allow God to show me my true beliefs, regardless of what others think and my own upbringing, is a good way to wait.

 

4/22/06 Reflections         My commonest sin – using God’s name in vain – is really a hideous one when I really think about it. What it really is, is cursing God for allowing something to happen, as if I had a right for only good things to happen. How hurtful it must be to God to be judged by me. Here I am trying to foster humility in myself and match my will to God’s, and then in my anger and impatience, themselves sin, I ruin it all by an old habit I haven’t tried hard enough to break. And in a way that chastises God; pretty nervy. He knows I don’t mean it that way, but it reminds me that I need improvement – that in itself is a good outcome to a bad situation. God shines at that sort of thing.

 

4/28/06 Insights from Study         We are blessed not only in being deemed worthy by God to help bring souls to the salvation He desires for them, but also in being able to carry on, in a smaller, less perfect way, the very work of Jesus Christ, whose mission was the same as ours. Apostleship belongs to every one of us – we follow Christ in our own behavior, and in His work of gathering souls for the Father. This is a privilege, not just for priests, but for all who want to serve God.

 

4/29/06 Reflections           It’s so easy to displease God that we do it without even knowing we’re doing it. It’s not that God is hard to please, but that we have a whole human nature to overcome if we were to be any degree aware of how God feels. This is how low sin has brought us. I can’t be anything other than sinful in this life, but I can try to stop myself from sinning. The way to do that is to be aware that God has a plan and he follows it. It’s a perfect plan and it’s carried out with love for us and desire for us to acknowledge our salvation and prepare ourselves for eternal life. God allows no sin in heaven – our sins have to be forgiven if we’re to enter. Thankfully this is possible and within our reach. God understands that much sin is a result of our not being able to understand innately all that sin encompasses. For example, it’s displeasing to God when we complain about the weather. Here the great almighty, all-knowing creator of the universe decides we need life-giving moisture; so He, in His goodness, provides it. And we clueless sinners whine about it. If only we could remain aware at all times that God is good and He has a plan for us that’s good. If only we could remember that we can’t understand this plan and can only go along with it. If only we’d ask God to forgive us for what we do out of ignorance. If only we would let go of controlling our lives and let God work through us. There are practical rewards for this too. When you “let go and let God” you can relax and see the world as progressing according to how God wants it to progress. You can stop worrying about what isn’t right and start enjoying what is right. For right or wrong, everything has a noble purpose.

 

4/30/06 Reflections             A meditation today gave me a clue to the meaning behind a revelation I had a while ago. In this revelation God said not to worry about noise and interruption while I pray; that He would make it so I couldn’t pay any attention to those distractions if I wanted to. And still I’m supremely conscious of the grating lack of quiet when I pray, even in the middle of the night. Today I realized what He meant was that when the time came that I was ready for true contemplation, these things would be no bother because part of the consolation would be my immunity from outside attractions. In other words, I will be able to tell by that if my contemplation has come to fruition.

 

4/30/06 Insights from Study          It’s odd how I deal with the wisdom scripture of the Old Testament and Apocrypha. I’m more of a “meat and potatoes” kind of thinker rather than a philosopher. I breezed through the historical books of the Bible and labored grudgingly through the wisdom books. Now during my second reading and study I see how much I’ve been carried along in my walk with God. The wisdom books I resented now sound like they’re speaking directly to me and I see in them thoughts I myself have had. They jibe perfectly with the doctrine I’ve come up with on my own (i.e. With God’s help instead of the church’s) and they speak of things that have lately become very important in my life. I thank God for inviting me on this journey, where I learn so much and delight in His companionship, peace and love.