The Light in the Woods

#25 – THE LIGHT IN THE WOODS – AUGUST 2007

© Aubri Dennison 2007

8/1/07 Presentations             Last night the full moon shone on the water, then the reflection on the water bounced up through my window and onto the opposite wall. In the quarter-light this reflection looked like the soft white shape of a feathery dove. Another time I would be in joyous awe at a real vision of the Holy Spirit, and this one was quite impressive. But I was moved to turn my back on it, thinking: “I don’t want a sign; even the devil can show signs. Signs are for unbelievers. I want to help in God’s work and know that I’m doing it; that will be the only sign I need.” Where did that come from? If I had my way I would have welcomed the joy and confirmation the vision of the white dove should bring, as other, though admittedly non-visual, flights of spirit have brought me. What made this one different? Why did it speak a warning instead of God’s love and consolation? I don’t know, but I suspect that it’s because it was so obvious, and I never experience such an obvious God. I’m not used to visions – what I see are normal, everyday things in an ethereal light; with heightened perception. I do know that this happening did make me happy, but for a different reason. I realize that I don’t just grasp at any odd occurrence and declare it a sign from God. The certainty has to come from within my spirit or the “vision” is a dead thing. That’s OK – God can teach by contrasts, and often does. The glory lies in being loved by Him enough to be taught.

8/10/07 Inspirations           Of course we’re restless and unfulfilled here on earth! We were created perfect and it’s back to this perfection we are longing to go. Ruined by sin, our divinity still rests within us. Overcome by the cares of the world, our perfection hides inside – seemingly impossible to recover but yet enough a part of us that we ache over missing it. We fidget along because it calls us home and we don’t know how to start to get back there. Mysticism tells us how, because human beings throughout the ages have scratched at this itch and gotten some relief. Pay attention to your spirituality as you pay attention to you job. Raise your consciousness as you raise your kids. Take care of your spirit as you take care of your body. Let God in. For God’s sake and for your own, let God help you. You cannot know the way unless you look for it; you cannot focus on the right way until you admit you’re weak and ask God to take over. He will take your hand and bring you home whether you ask for His help or if you don’t, but how much happier the journey would be if we traveled that road with the Creator Himself; in harmony and trust.

8/12/07 Insights from Study           Whoever does good in the world does so because they experience God, whether with or without much thought in the matter. But whoever sins does so because they are not experiencing God in their lives. If we were to truly live with God in our lives, we would not think of sinning even though sin is in our nature. Since we all have sin, there’s proof that our relationship with God on Earth is not perfect. But it’s in the seeking of a better union with God that we fulfill our purpose here on this side of the curtain dividing sin from perfection. It’s in the seeking that we are fulfilled. We have a sinful nature, but we also have an innate passion for God. In the struggle between nature and passion, it’s prayer that can bridge the gap, for only with God’s help will we find a way out of our worldly mindset and focus on what really counts.

8/12/07 Insights from Study             Well, did Christ come to redeem all of mankind as He Himself stated, or is it that only Christians are capable of eternal life? You can read your Bible and come away with both, opposing statements. When I see this kind of disparity I start to wonder if there’s any way to reconcile it. Do I accept the Bible without reservation and just chalk up any anomalies to our imperfect knowledge? Or do I reject the Bible out of hand because such disparities are reminders of man’s hand in God’s word? Neither. Instead, I feel like adjusting the way I view the Bible. God’s word is perfect and true, but as recorded by man, who is far from perfect, it’s subject to interpretation according to the agenda of the writer. In a tunneled, unwavering interpretation and devotion to the scriptural writings, we lose sight of the fact that the Bible records the history of God’s relationship with man. This relationship was always wrought with difficulties, and in recording it the writers interjected their need to improve on it. This often blurs the line between the way it was and the way it should be. Is God a vengeful mass murderer or loving father? Is Jesus patient and triumphant or an exasperated loser? Were the disciples dedicated scholars or wishy-washy flip-floppers? We could fight for one position or another forever, but I prefer to go to God for inspiration on how to interpret man’s relationship with Him.

8/15/07 Reflections             I get up in the morning and turn on the radio for news in order to keep in touch with what’s happening with others outside my sphere. It usually confirms the wisdom of distancing myself from the world while discovering who to pray for. On a day when the news tells of unspeakable injustice and suffering for others and confusion as to if, in my own indirect way, I contribute to such suffering, I say to the Lord: “This news makes me feel terrible; how do You feel about it?” And what comes through is that both good and evil contribute to His plan from wherever it originates. He doesn’t want evil for us, but where it exists He uses it for the benefit of the rest of mankind. These things make sense in the mind of God, and because we do not understand how it works, we leave it to the master in faith and trust. He knows infinite ways in which to use evil events to bring about good things for His children. Our job is to promote Him so that evil becomes a thing of the past. An entire planet with eyes lifted to heaven in praise and love for God would make for an ideal life on Earth – not because God rewards us for it, for if reward were the determining factor we would do well to fear the punishment we deserve, but because of the way that universal love for God would cause us to treat each other. In one small example of how God turns evil against itself for good – the bad that I heard on the news has led to an insight that I will use to promote universal love for God. May God’s plan for events of the world affect many others in the way it has affected me this morning, and lead others along on their spiritual journey.

8/16/07 Insights from Study               Forgive seventy times seven? Jesus spoke to individuals, not society. Render unto Caesar? There are things we do and there are things our legislature does. We must take His word and apply it to the context in which it was meant, because the law is applied differently in the Old Testament and the New Testament, and the commandments are applied differently between individuals and the societies under which they live. For along with the free will which makes us the image of God comes the responsibility to apply this choice wisely. God puts the sense of right into our hearts, but we are not all alike and do not interpret our initiatives exactly the same – our free wills take up the slack, for good and for bad. The society which we make up in our diversity also has this dichotomy of service, and is held to a different standard because it answers to the many, not just the individual. This comes to the forefront when we consider the idea of forgiveness and laxity – we can forgive as individuals as we have been commanded, but we still need to hold others to their responsibility because we function in a society that must meet the needs of all. In one of my devotions today I read a suggestion that “forgive seventy times seven” should apply to institutions – three strikes and you’re out is no good, for instance, for college students, because the institution should forgive and forgive as Jesus commanded. But this puts burdens on society that society can’t hold up. If forgiveness means the approval of laziness and selfishness, society will fall apart. If we forgive murders the same as parking violations, then our laws and commandments are meaningless. We expect personal responsibility in order to protect society. That doesn’t mean we don’t forgive the sinner, just that we want him to sin no more. Today, that is often interpreted as insensitivity and prejudice. We can have it all – conservative expectations of accountability as well as a progressive spirit of love and forgiveness. It’s a matter of equilibrium. We don’t have to take a stand one way or another, for if we don’t we can take the best of both, just as Jesus did, and God through Him.

8/18/07 Insights from Study          (Random thoughts) God loves me fat, as He would love me if I was thin. He values things differently from the way society values them, and if I want to have peace, I will value things the way God does. When my tolerance has reached its natural limit I have to grasp at one more straw to become what God wants of me, otherwise my doubting of my most sincerest of devotions may be another underhanded trick of the devil. To help me, God has provided the Bible, which to me is a gift of seeds — small beginnings of enlightenment for me to cultivate. How do I show my gratitude for the promise of Heaven? It’s like getting through your vegetables because you know dessert is coming up. We prevent non-believers from coming to God when we react negatively to them – this is one of the clearest examples of adversity being opportunity. The more violently they need God the more God will help them. Mysticism implies heightened sensitivity to the Creator, and this effect translates into our relationship with our fellow humans. This doesn’t mean, as it does in the secular world, that we accept all behaviors as our right to “do our own thing”, but that we love the person and care about helping him on his journey back to the right-relationship with God with the Creator has afforded us. We can pray continuously by listening for the whisper of the Holy Spirit in our lives – this is our prayer, our dedication within our daily lives to the devotion to God.

8/21/07 Insights from Prayer               Jesus as man personifies for us the pain and suffering that man could cause God, who needs not suffer and bear pain. Jesus shows us that God is aware of our trials, our depression, all the ills that our sinful nature provides us. God’s awareness of us, no matter if the circumstances are pain or joy, should be an uplifting revelation in our lives. Here Jesus can teach us discernment, because He was ever praying to God, telling us about God, or listening to God. It’s the same with us as children of God as Jesus was. Jesus’ life shows us it’s OK to seek our Creator/Father and have a relationship with Him. We must do this with reverence, but we must do this for our own good. How can people live who don’t live in the light of God? In the quiet moments of the dawn, before they go out to maintain the material possessions which measure their happiness, do they ever think about their deaths, when the leave this world behind? I hope they will experience the light of God then, but as they ponder this, how is it possible to not want this light immediately? It’s right here, in this vale of tears, that we need this presence of God the most. For it’s here that we’re burdened and here that we can do the most good.

8/22/07 Inspirations                If everything was always wonderful, we’d never get to appreciate wonder.

8/24/07 Presentations                 I have a journal for recording the good things, the positive thoughts and experiences. But these days there are so many blessings I have more than one place to tell about them, and so this book is incomplete. I have so many insights now that I must put down in writing other places, and many of these are the happy and positive ones I would normally put in this book. But when I experience natural phenomena I tend to reach for this journal for some reason. Tonight as I started evening prayers I saw the full moon in the mist, rising from behind the big island. The glow was beautiful and other-worldly, with rays forming a cross. Then I noticed as the mist cleared away that the moon was backlighting a single, taller white pine. For a while it looked like the moon was the pine’s soft-lit halo. Then it was all changing and I realized that the moon appeared to be traveling very fast – in comparison to the tree I could actually experience the turning of the Earth with my eyes. How awesome to be shown so clearly what otherwise I take on faith! I think this may be what the end of the world could look like – when we finally start to experience the perfect knowledge and grace we were created for. When we experience God’s works more spectacularly. When God no longer needs to test us; to hold back from demonstrating His majesty in order that we gain our faith through trusting instead of through miracles. When we are finally allowed to see first-hand how awesome God is and how powerfully He works. Then I want to be able to know that I already always did believe in His majesty and wanted to serve Him faithfully all along. While watching something quite like tonight, I want to hear: “Well done, good and faithful servant”.

8/25/07 Insights from Study           My body is the garment God has given me to house my spirit – it does not have to be perfect in the eyes of others, only useful in God’s work. And if it’s useful in God’s work, it’s perfect in His eyes. I need to not only accept it as God’s will for me, but also to keep from obsessing over it so God is left to take care of it in the way He knows best, without my interference.

8/25/07 Insights from Prayer               Prayer performs many functions. It actively petitions God for favors for ourselves and for others; it passively lets God into our hearts and minds to work on us as He wants. It gives us a chance to show our adoration, our thanks, our repentance. We may talk in our prayer and we may listen. But taken all together, prayer is like a refreshing rest — when we feel we need to unload our burdens onto God out loud, or when all we want to do is listen to what He might want to tell us. But when you are totally conscious of God’s presence in your life, all your prayers, both active and passive, will be directed by His will; it’s in these quiet times that you will feel His love and support most intensely.

8/29/07 Inspirations                   On the way to a funeral service we stopped to visit someone else and I decided to redo my hair. I took a small bottle of hairspray I’d had a long time but never used before out of my purse. Nothing we did could make it work – the nozzle would pick up from the bottle but no spray would come out. After trying different things I gave up and pitched the bottle into the car’s trash. That night I emptied the car’s trash basket into the woodstove, but at the last minute I retrieved the hairspray bottle to give it one last chance, and it worked perfectly. So what had changed? Now I don’t see this trivial incident as a sign from God, but it did get me to thinking. If life is subject to the progression of scientific evolution, shouldn’t non-living objects stay the same? And if they don’t stay the same, who is changing them?

8/31/07 Inspirations             When I was lost He took my hand, and when I was sad He dried my tears. He does this for everybody, but to me He gave a gift of enlightenment and so I was able to recognize His work with me. This is such a wonderful thing when you stop and really think about it. Not only is it supremely wonderful, it is given freely when we ask with honesty and obedience.