The Light in the Woods

#23 – THE LIGHT IN THE WOODS – JUNE 2007

© Aubri Dennison 2007

6/1/07 Reflections             I am full of melancholy – not sorrow, because sorrow means something bad has happened. But the death of my brother was ever so much a release of suffering that he more than ever proves that death on Earth is more importantly birth into Heaven.  So I cannot mourn, but I can cry myself into comfort. In the course of the day it became that everything I picked up was either monumental or inconsequential. Monumental in that in my state of mind what I had to do was too hard for me to concentrate on; inconsequential because everything seemed so unnecessary in the great scheme of things. So I go outside and sit looking at the islands on the lake, the clouds in the sky, and the ants on the rocks. All are doing what, and only what, God wants them to do, and that comforts me. My brother was so sick, so bed-ridden, and at times so unaware that he was the only person I know who did only God’s will naturally. For it was God’s will that he be the way he was, and God’s will that he accept the way he was. What I strive for – abandoning my will to God’s will – was a gift given to my brother automatically because of what his illness made him. I understand the implication that in God’s plan all is fair because all that’s important is the hope of salvation, and that has been afforded to everyone without prejudice. And I have the intuition that in Heaven there is no thought for us of what has occurred on Earth – no memory of it, no longing for it, no need of it. The perfection of Heaven makes the trial of earthly life a thing of no matter. That being so, my brother is enjoying Heaven as if there had been no suffering on Earth, and we will too someday. This experience is sure to make me more accepting of unfairness. We need to alleviate it when we can, but overly bemoaning a bad condition on Earth is as bad as overly amassing a good one. My brother’s death teaches me that the blessed bliss of union with God helps us handle the trials and sufferings of a sinful world, and His mercy makes us forget it all in the perfection of the next life.

6/3/07 Insights from Prayer        God’s love is perfect on Earth – it’s our perception of it through the clouded glass of sin that makes it seem hidden. When we’re born into His eternal kingdom, then we’ll be able to see God’s love as it really is, and then we will be equipped to handle such perfection. True joy is the clearest perception of God’s love that we can have; after death we can experience it fully, but in the meantime we can be instrumental in claiming it, though imperfectly, for ourselves. We do this by making ourselves conscious of God and His love through our recognition and appreciation of His creation and power. We do this by putting God first in our lives. The more we exalt God the less likely our regard for the things of the Earth will jeopardize that exaltation. The more sure we are of our adoration of God, the more we can enjoy the things of the Earth without fear of them getting in the way. Our best hope is to keep the promise in mind – the promise that we, being loved by God, are eligible to eventually enjoy the enormity of what that really means. If we all understood the hope of heaven we would be grateful and joyous here on Earth, and it would be a better Earth because of it.

6/5/07 Reflections          It’s common to come to the place in our very being that tells us the time is now to turn our lives around. It can happen in the height of ecstasy or in the depth of despair, because it’s not related to any earthly emotional need. It is pure spirituality, and its concern is for the eternal, not the temporal, kingdom of God. The desire comes from God, momentarily trumping our free will because only with God’s help can we gain the wisdom we need to see His purpose. This enlightenment is a gift from God – a sign for we who must have signs; a presentation of God’s power to humanity, for which deception is a default condition. If this happens to you, try to concentrate only on the powerful feeling that is your gift from God. Don’t let the normal negatives wedge their way in. Negativity and doubt are human frailties – those in partnership with God don’t need these millstones. God, who is all-powerful, is offering His help – now is the time to concentrate on acceptance; not on how you will inevitably mess things up. You trust God to take the reins in hand, and by abandoning your free will to His guidance, you allow your soul to be lead by perfect faith, instead of to lead with human weaknesses.

6/10/07 Insights from Prayer         We can surely deal in generalities when it comes to God’s workings in the lives of men, for those inspirations are freely given for those who receive them. But having discerned such generalities about God, we can fall into the trap of presumption. Today during meditation I found myself saying “You know, God, if You let me curl up inside myself out of being uncomfortable with how I am, I’m not going to be of much use to You.” Then it occurred to me that I was berating God for a choice He’s made for me, as if God made bad choices. As if God had to be told by me how His determination for me might affect me, and that this effect might not be what He expected. As if, knowing myself as I do, I would have more insight into my reaction than God would. As if I knew better how to ensure my worth to God, to whom I’m worth everything. But what’s the worst of all in this presumption goes back to the fact that I forgot a basic known generality – God works in mysterious ways; mysterious to us, but not to Him. I’m not the first person in the world to feel sad and rejected, and each time it’s happened has been for a good purpose. God knows what He’s doing, and when I question His work in the light of how I think it should be done, instead of being wrathfully indignant over my presumption, God uses the situation to lovingly instruct me.

6/12/07 Insights from Study            It’s always amazing to me that you can have an experience of God, whether it be from a contentment in prayer all the way up to a miraculous healing, and then forget it or have it pushed way into the back of your mind. Wouldn’t you think if God has touched you, you would remember it? First, realize that God is touching you at all times, and the wonder would be that if He were not, you would collapse like one of those plastic and elastic toys that invite you to push a button and watch them fall. Second, God’s work entails not only His presentation to you, but also your tendency to forget it. God is telling you to welcome His appearances, His insights, His consolations, His revelations, His peace, His intuitions – but don’t base your regard for Him as a way to acquire these gifts. Know to treasure the experience of God for itself, whether the external, human pleasure of His company comes with the experience or whether is doesn’t. For the gifts of spiritual pleasure are like the temporal enjoyments of Earth, they don’t last because they are small and insignificant compared to the real promise. It’s God’s promise of eternal life which should be your focus – this gift will be lived every moment and cannot be forgotten like the lesser things we have a human tendency to appreciate. There will certainly be things you yourself will have to do, because this state of soul is a privilege; not a free pass. But for now, don’t think of your contribution – concentrate on the fact that God has chosen to show you outwardly what He has been doing inwardly all along. As time goes by and things progress, it’s this recognition of your need for God’s work in you that you’ll want to acknowledge again and again, each time confirming your right-relationship with God. When this right-relationship is maintained and nurtured, you will find the peace and progress promised. If you’re lazy, you’ll find motivation; if you’re afraid, you’ll find courage; if you’re feeling too stupid to succeed, you’ll find the inspiration you need; if you’re shy, you’ll find the power; if you feel too sinful to be called a child of God, you’ll find the purity; if you’re distracted, you’ll find peace, and if you’re attached to worldly things, you’ll find the humility that will open up all the other doors for you.

6/17/07 Reflections            Someone who I love very much was hurt by what someone else said, and I feel it deeply and personally. Someone who I love was insulted in a public place by a total stranger, and I can’t push away the feeling that my first and most relevant thought was to pound the insulting little punk into the ground to the tune of my maniacal laughter (it’s therapeutic just writing this down). I know my heart should be telling me to smile it away and make it an opportunity to offer my trials up to doing the right thing for God; that such a small thing shouldn’t make me a small person. Then I remembered the joke I heard: a traveling preacher was expounding to a crowd when suddenly he began to get pelted with rotten crab apples. He slowly wiped away the mess and calmly carried on with his message. More crab apples arrived on their mark, and the preacher again paused to wipe the mess off him. Then he turned back to the crowd and intoned, “I’m giving up three more minutes of this Jesus stuff and then you’re going to witness the damnedest rumble you’ve ever seen!” When we have a very human reaction, we have to realize that it’s because we’re human, plain and simple. Not all our basic reactions are pleasing to God; not all of them are successfully overridden by what we know we should feel. Sometimes bad reactions are inevitable, mostly because we don’t have the time to mull them over in our minds before we act. But it’s because of this inevitability that we should in all cases count to ten, either literally or figuratively, before reacting. It could give us enough time to recall what we know in our hearts we should not be falling prey to. And the more we are in a unitive relationship with God, the more easily we click on the right way to react to things. But there will be limits to our patience, and there will be situations in which we cannot hold back. In the end, it’s important to learn from these situations to get ready for the next time it happens.

6/18/07 Insights from Study         The “eye for an eye” statement in Exodus 21:24 was meant to explain how the court system should fairly judge retribution cases. Apparently by the time Jesus preached, man had done what man does best – taken a point of law and twisted it to fit his individual desires. So eventually scripture was used to validate man’s need to avenge a slight from another by making payback in kind not only an acceptable response but a requirement of law. When Jesus came along He taught what God wants us to do, and like many of us today, He was looked upon as a rebel for “going against scripture”. Of course what He was really doing was warning against bad interpretation of scripture by going right to the source – God Himself. But we have misinterpreted Jesus’ words also by saying He means we should never defend ourselves, so once again scripture is being used to fill a need for authorization of how we want things to be run. So what does God say to me about the lesson to be learned in this passage? That fairness in law and government is necessary, but individuals need to think beyond fairness and into the righteousness that fits with God’s will. That we are not to mete out our actions on the basis of perceived fairness; to give to one only as much as he’s given to me, and to take revenge on someone by retaliating in kind. What God wants is for me to treat others as God treats me. He has forgiven me well beyond what my sins deserve, and gifted me well beyond what my goodness has said about me. If God were to deal with me fairly I would be in deep trouble, for my goodness falls short and my sins are numerous. We are supposed to look at our neighbor with the same eye; to hold back on our recrimination of him and go the extra mile in our charity towards him. Not calculating so that things come out even between us, but tipping the scales in the direction of righteousness in every case, whether by withholding the bad or fast-forwarding the good, as much as we are able. To model our mercy and generosity on that of the Creator, more than succumbing to the human weakness of expecting fairness in our dealings with others, and taking revenge when that fairness doesn’t come to pass.

6/19/07 Reflections               Discernment is how we come about knowing right from wrong. I’m thinking there are four ways of discernment: instinct, tradition, conscience, and revelation. Instinct is the biological wisdom that keeps us safe and forwards our gene pool. It works in a primary way for animals, and in a secondary way for humans, because humans have other ways of discernment to fall back on. Tradition is the use of intellectual wisdom to look back in history to see what was done before and, through this prior knowledge, judge how well it might work for us. Conscience is the set of principles that has been written on our hearts as children of God. And revelation is what God directly gives us over and above other methods of discernment, at a time and place and method of His choosing.

6/19/07 Insights from Study          The fact that we can go to God for help with the hard lessons Jesus handed us tells of God’s requirement and Jesus’ acceptance of those lessons. The law, and the desire to perfect our spirits, is what makes us go to God for help, and having gone to God we realize His glory. Realizing His glory makes us want to live with Him forever, which adjusts our worldview. This in turn improves our world as a backdrop for making our spirituality important to us instead of striving for our basic needs and pursuing our luxuries.

6/21/07 Insights from Prayer              There’s something you can do at anytime and any place that can, if done often enough, change your life. If you’re feeling contented, happy, joyous, or ecstatic, remember that it’s by God’s grace that you can experience this, and thank Him for it. I’m reminded of the old Paul Simon lyrics “I was playing my guitar, lying underneath the stars; just thanking the Lord for my fingers”. If you keep God in mind when something is right, it becomes second nature to thank Him for it. The more you thank God the more you find things to thank Him for. And no, you don’t have to berate God when things go wrong in order to even things out – God is not the author of evil. It’s just as easy to be an optimist as it is to be a pessimist – turn your thoughts to God as often as you think of it, and you will see how the world, and your part in it, appears as more of a gift than a burden.

6/21/07 Insights from Prayer            So much of life on Earth is a matter of perception. Think of the time in the not-so-distant past that life expectancy was 40 years. Imagine today looking at a 40-year-old person in awe that they have lived as long as they have. Think of all the things we used to do, the consequences of which we now know although we didn’t pay attention to it then, like pouring assorted kids in back of a station wagon with not a seatbelt in sight, windows rolled up and the adults puffing away on cigarettes. A person raised in the fields of Kansas may not be able to believe people can drive in the mountains with any speed around hairpin curves that hang on the side of high cliffs. A person with a terrible fear of water has to hide their eyes when someone goes diving or waterskiing. And can anyone watch bungee-jumping? It’s a glorious fact that it takes all kinds of people to make the world go around, and yet at the least little sign that someone has an opinion different from ours we get all possessive and feisty. This isn’t a new phenomenon, but lately we all seem so easily insulted. It’s all a matter of perception – if it weren’t, we’d be all alike and much would never get done because of that. But let’s strike a balance between diversity and acceptance of sin. We are, after all, responsible for what we stand for and for what we fall for. And if we’re serious about sharing God’s word, there will be times when we can’t let sin be normalized in the interest of human rights. But we can teach without preaching; be righteous without being self-righteous. It’s all a matter of perception.

6/27/07 Reflections               God accepts us all totally. When we are in sin, we are distanced from Him. This is not God abandoning us — it’s our perception of ourselves, which we mistake for God’s perception of us. It’s all in how we see ourselves – it’s what we do to ourselves that we wrongly perceive as God’s disapproval. Better to remove the focus from ourselves and quietly listen to God. From here we can hear what is indisputable in content and importance. For no one is better at knowing what’s best for us and accomplishing that very thing. We’re very different and much more worthy when seen through God’s eyes. Make that view more important than the view you or any other human may have.