The Light in the Woods

2/28/10 Insights from Study              I have a prayer that God loves. I made it up under the inspiration of God Himself and thousands of words of God-lovers who have loved Him before me. If I should find myself suddenly without anything else to call my own, my prayer will still bring me where I need to go. If my enemies chase me to the far ends of the Earth, I can carry my prayer with me without burden. If I have no food or water, I can still present my prayer to God; I will find either sustenance for my body, for my spirit, or for both. If I must lie out in the cold and dark, I can always bring out my prayer and wear it like a comforting blanket. I have no fear of the future, for my future doesn’t stop with my death. The reason I know this is that whenever I take out my prayer and offer it up to the Creator, I keep getting the same response: “I will see to it all”. God loves my prayer because I’ve learned it from Him and I accept its truth with all I have. He responds with all He has, and He has so very, very much.

2/23/10 Inspirations          Politics is the ultimate reality show – hype disguised as the real thing. We watch it because it’s real enough to be thrilling and fake enough to be safe. The trouble is we never seem to learn that when politics makes its own reality it takes on a life of its own; the power-people can twist things whichever way they want them to be, and that is the basis on which they make laws. And how they love to make laws! When there’s an opportunity to make another law, if the facts don’t support it other facts must be manufactured.

The same can be said about any facet of life on Earth – politics, religion, science, finance, health, history – the power-people decide reality, and present it to the rest of us as truth so there’s no conflict in their control.

When I think about the fraud on us that might never have been revealed if not for a brave few, I can’t help but think of the deception that is not discovered and how we’ve formed our beliefs on it. I get to the point where it’s wiser not to believe anything anyone tells me, but the yammering is so intense I would have to retreat into an empty cave to get away from it. What good am I in an empty cave? Are we really put on this Earth to be good to one another? If we are, why is power so historically oppressive?

Maybe we do all need an empty cave; one containing an empty chalkboard on which to write only what we can believe for sure. There in the depths of quiet we may have a chance to capture truth and reality. There where there’s only one Power we might begin to receive what we really need to know and something we can really believe. There where we live on only what we’re given without striving on our own, we become humble enough to see clearly what is necessary for us to see.

Mystics enter this empty cave of contemplation whenever they can. With no distraction and no voice other than The One Who Knows, the empty chalkboard receives truth direct from Reality. The hard part is for the mystics to retain this truth and this focus on reality when they leave the cave to return to the world. But that is precisely what keeps the mystic going back to contemplation – the intrusion of a discordant world that never seems to fit right. The more the world yammers at us, the more mumbly it sounds and the clearer God’s voice comes through. That’s the Power I can believe, the Truth that’s without conflict, the Reality that feels right, the Light for which I long.

1/7/09 Insights from Study         More than one of today’s devotionals touches upon an attribute of mine that puzzles me. I often need God’s assurance on something that has been in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember. I hate to say it out loud because it sounds like a delusion of grandeur, even though no feeling of pride actually comes with it at all. But I have felt since I was a child that I have a special mission for God and I have been waiting rather obliviously for His “go-ahead”.

I don’t usually dwell on this, trying to figure out intellectually what I know can only come to me inspirationally, but it is ever there in quiet expectation. Whatever it is I am to do, I must not be ready for it as yet. I feel like I’m actively being prepared but there’s no clue as to the progress in what I’m being prepared for. It’s as if God hides my purpose so I don’t waste my effort in bumbling attempts to gear myself toward the work.

This call for patience isn’t a cause of anxiety – in fact this unknowing brings me a certain calm because I know the answer will come surely and supernaturally. All responsibility lies in the hands of the Creator, who not only treats me with love but is also very good at setting right things into place. But I’m sixty years old – sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I could have somehow missed the ship. Yet if that were so, why would I have this feeling of preparation?

Anyway, today’s theme seems to be that I will not be going anywhere on my mission; that I will be sought out right where I am. That makes sense in two ways. First is that as the years go by my odd distaste for leaving home for any reason gets stronger and more apparent. Second, I live in a place steeped in spirituality, where the presence of God can call to a person mystically, forcefully, and somewhat continuously. Today I read reminders that this narrow path I take is that way for a reason. Maybe as I record what comes to me in God’s presence I am already affecting His plans in ways I don’t even recognize. I may die tomorrow and find my mission is already done. Stay home and love God – easy for me and what I’d choose to do anyway. God hasn’t matched my job to my temperament; He’s given me the mission and matched me with the temperament I need to accomplish it.

12/26/09 Insights from Study                 It’s an honor to be despised by those who don’t believe in God. One mention of God can send them spinning into spasms of scorn – this at least is some indication of spiritual concern, which by the power of God may bring about their enlightenment. Far more troublesome is the person with no thought of God at all. That’s why I love atheists – the ones I know are at least passionate about spiritual matters.

It must be terribly frustrating for atheists, this trying to prove a negative. If I say I know of God because He’s told me of Himself, how can they argue against that? If they say God is not guiding me, they’re acknowledging that there is a God; if they say there is no God who could be the source of my enlightenment, then they must prove that to someone who is sure there is.

I, on the other hand, do not have to prove anything, because I already believe. My only task is to be so humble, faithful, and joyous that it upsets people into reflection. My work is done whether my antagonist comes around or he doesn’t – that is God’s decision; not the effect of my work. I don’t mean to make atheists mad, but I do feel a satisfaction in making them feel something. Who can feel deep emotion without wonder at how emotions came to exist?

It should be far easier to believe in a Creator than not, seeing that we and all around us definitely do exist and we can’t conceive of how. As for me, despise me all they want – I know what I know and they will never know enough about me to prove me wrong. If I were left the only person on Earth to believe in God, it would not change that belief in the slightest. Praise God’s wisdom and love!

12/10/09 Insights from Prayer             I go alone to a quiet place to talk and listen to my Creator. This is exactly where I’m supposed to be. No fear, no doubt, no despair, no guilt – just doing what God means for me to do. This is the way it is in the Reality of heaven; for this reason I am at peace here. I am content with what I have because I turn my face toward the thing of real importance. If enemies pound at the door I don’t hear them here in my cocoon of safety. If there are corners where I, the temple of God, haven’t swept properly, I acknowledge this and immediately dismiss it. For here and now I exist only to honor my God by receiving His love and offering my own to Him. I go away refreshed, and I don’t grow faint from the clanging and screeching and wailing and shrieking of the world, so satisfied am I with the promise for that world that is the thing I hear above all else.

11/28/09 Reflections          What’s missing in the world isn’t love, for each and every one of us is loved so immeasurably that we cannot even absorb the concept. But that’s what’s missing – our ability to recognize the immensity of God’s love for us, and our ability to expand the scope of our intellect enough to desire to experience God more than we have.

Today is a special day for me – the anniversary of the moment when God took hold of my mind, my imagination, and my ego and showed me how little I’ve been settling for. He chose me and I accepted. He chooses many, and many accept. If they’re like me, they enjoy a flurry of supernatural favors, causing them to experience extreme joy and contentment. Then just when they grow to expect joy, they’re handed complete letdown.

We are fortunate that there have been those who have gone before us and left accounts, as accurately as they might be in explaining the unexplainable, of how it feels. And I’ve been particularly fortunate in that I’ve had the means to teach myself the theology behind God’s personal involvement in my life. Because of this, I have an understanding of why we must suffer after having a taste of deep spiritual knowledge and grace. And I know that the suffering of perceived estrangement from God is followed by, not the initial ecstasy, but something more stable and more sustainable. It’s the continual awareness of the awesome presence of God and the certitude that this is but a small taste of a banquet yet to come.

11/27/09 Insights from Prayer          I’m always despairing over my lack of compassion. Last night it came to me that if, as I profess, I only want what God wants, I should be patient and trust that He leads me to compassion, even if it doesn’t seem like I’m anything other than unnecessary.

When I give money to charities, I’m still left emotionally flatlined. When I pray for others I feel fulfilled, yet only momentarily. My lifestyle is such that I seldom have an opportunity to connect with others. But when I write what comes so effortlessly to my mind when I’m enjoying the presence of God, only then is there the feeling that I do have something to do that’s purposeful.

How else will I know what is right for me unless I examine my feelings when I do it? We are all different – some contribute one way and some contribute another. My focus must be that if I truly live to love and honor God, whatever means speaks to that end must have God’s approval, no matter how it looks to me or fits in with what others are doing.

If God’s wish is mine, I should not be afraid to allow myself approval as well. In this state, I should have enough discernment to know that God is only goodness and so must be my motives and actions. I cannot rate myself on any other scale, because then I will be a victim of spiritual confusion.

11/9/09 Inspirations           God has everything. But there is one thing to have that is meaningless if not received from someone else. God would like to be loved. That is why He created us in His image – with free wills so that we can voluntarily love Him. For what good is love if it is mandated instead of freely given? Even if you’re God, love has to be received to be meaningful.

Here on Earth, the distortion of reality is the result of free wills used for other purposes than to honor God. But that makes the love potential all that much more significant, because our love for God can come through above human weakness and human suffering, without which there would be nothing for love to overcome.

When we come out of this coma of life on Earth and enter the reality of heaven, we will love and honor God without question, as divine beings. But here and now, love for God does not come so easily; here our humanity takes hold of us and demands all we’ve got. How specially it must please God then, when we freely volunteer to love Him despite the strikes against it! This is love in the extreme; valuable because it comes from self-willed creations who can and, indeed, are of a nature to withhold it.

To mystics then, this is the greatest privilege and the focus of life itself – to honor God by loving Him. Despite all it might take to get to that point, the commission is simple — all we do is honor our Creator by loving Him. Rites and groupings and dogmas and scriptures are redundant, because we know how to love God without all these things. To love God is, after all, what we were created for.

In this we embark on a journey that will not fail, for the moment we decide for God, all His power and knowledge is at our disposal in the measure that we allow ourselves to ask for it and to put it to use. And one spark of love sent to God is returned in a totality we can’t even grasp, but know in our hearts is how reality will feel when we reach it at last.

10/28/09 Insights from Prayer            The world is only as good or as bad as our perception of it. Therefore it’s different for everyone, which means perception can be changed.

Besides the differences in what our experiences are, we also interpret experiences differently, based on pre-learned attitudes. Therefore we sense that if we could bypass our own attitudes we could perceive more clearly.

If we can empty our faith of preconceived notions and go with only what we intensely and interiorly feel to be real, we can concentrate on that in certitude, because God places truths within our spirits. What God infuses is pure; far from our own ideas and free from the influence of lesser things. This purification of spirit involves active and voluntary examination of thoughts and the discarding of anything that doesn’t have God’s blessing.

In devotional prayer we put an idea before God and make ourselves willing to be receptive to whether or not God accepts it into our pure spirits – spirits from which we guard against ego and Earthly matters. Any sensory input can be placed before God for His inspiration.  From a snippet of scripture to a contemplation of a beautiful stone – when we place it before God in wondrous prayer we can be sure He will grant us the knowledge and grace we are meant to glean from it, even if His answer lies below our consciousness.

Pure prayer is our personal affirmation that, independent of our own intellect and will, whatever is of the essence of God should ideally reside in us as well. The giving over of our free will actions to the divine default is the most perfect free will decision we can possible make. It cannot always come to pass perfectly in this imperfect world, but the desire alone is in harmony with the joy of the Creator.

The ability to wipe the spirit clean of ego influences is a gift of God, opened and used by our co-operation. As in everything good, it is granted by God but is only fully effective when we use our own free will to accept the gift.

9/24/09 Reflections            Some odds and ends of thoughts for today: Some ideas just hit the right chord. One of these for me is that the universe didn’t just “happen”. Something there exists that’s mightier than us. We are in awe of creation for a reason. The presence of the Creator immerses us. We are a special part of creation, and creation is for a good purpose; not an evil one. It’s not until I take a deep lungful of God that I realize I’ve been holding my breath. It’s God’s grace and protection and knowledge and love and everything He wants to be for me that fills me up and prepares me for a life well-lived. Whenever I travel anywhere it’s a big deal for me, so even a pleasant trip is stressful. How good to know God’s warmth and comfort goes with me — even far from home, where I need to draw on them so desperately. It takes a great suspension of human experience to think outside time, but if a person can do it there would be enormous comfort in knowing all that is going to happen has already happened and has the support of God.