The Light in the Woods

2/21/10 Reflections              God is not just another experiment for scientists, for He will never be known completely on Earth. This is not a failing; this is His plan. His plan keeps us seeking, keeps us praising, keeps us grateful for the small hints of heaven that we see all around us when we cultivate awareness of them. If God were not a mystery we wouldn’t be in awe of Him as we are.

Now and then I play at pretending there is no God in my life, just to see how it feels. After all, I put in many years of not thinking of God at all, and I made out OK. But I always come back to the welcoming of my relationship with God, because of what it adds to my existence. I don’t need to understand God completely. What I need is to accept that there is something very much worth seeking, and that even if I don’t fully appreciate God because of my human limitations, the desire for that relationship keeps what I can know ever before me.

God is constantly bringing me towards acceptance of what it is I need. He puts before me what He wants to give; sometimes I reach out for it hungrily and sometimes I’m not hungry enough to reach out at all. In one way I’m better off than in the other, but God doesn’t force me. In the same way, He works with what he withholds from me – fear, despair, disease, calamity, guilt, my own sin. Whether I’m thankful, oblivious, or aware yet without gratitude, I’m not forced to acknowledge the source of my protection or my provision.

Yet if I do choose awareness of God I learn easily in proportion to how much of the process I give over to God. Once I begin, I see results. Once I see results, I want more of the same. The more I ask for the more I get – my asking shows that I’m humble enough to use God’s graces effectively. Even though my role is small, it’s an integral part of God’s master plan and therefore significant. Yet I don’t have to perform it flawlessly; I shouldn’t even aspire to that. I merely need to keep desiring the right attitude for my way to be made sure.

That’s why it’s so important for us not to exclude others’ paths or disdain others’ works. We don’t know what assignments God has deemed appropriate for others. We cannot do His desire while judging His gifts.

 2/7/10 Reflections             Everything is the way it is because that’s how God wants it. Save the whale, stop global warming – do what you will, the outcome is still whatever is God’s plan. You can be a force for good, but that’s your interpretation of what is needed; unless this is the same as what your Creator deems necessary it will count for nothing. That’s just the way it is, and God keeps dropping hints that we might want to limit our interference in it for our own good. Still we insist on taking over. So what if we’re extremely incompetent? At least we feel good about ourselves!

But maybe feeling good about ourselves is not such a worthy goal. For some of us, feeling good about ourselves is another form of greedy self-regard because we do things out of human pride; circumventing the will of God. Since we do impact nature we are charged with not abusing it. But for some, that’s the green light to go to the other extreme – denying the use of nature when it should be used, being a gift from God.

Most people don’t factor in God’s wishes when taking up a cause, some on the premise that God’s wishes are unknown but surely must conform to theirs; some on the premise that there is no God so it’s all up to them. But this is the Creator Himself they are dismissing – how much simpler and more beneficial it would be to acknowledge that there is a supernatural plan in place; to concede that the care of the Earth has been in God’s hands and will continue to be this way on into eternity. No matter what we do or don’t do, His effect will be what decides the Earth’s fate. Study as we might, all we will find is the mechanics of how God is fulfilling His plan.

Put that way, we might be induced to set aside the hype and the panic talk. We might each consider getting back to the spiritual meaning behind what we do. We can succeed by being partners in God’s master plan instead of failing by conceitedly fighting against it.

1/23/10 Insights from Prayer         Faith is how God operates. Don’t argue with me about God when your argument is against my dependence on faith itself. Without faith you can neither describe nor deny what God is to you. And with faith, your need to argue should disappear.

1/9/10 Insights from Study                Ironically, it’s probable that all religion would be acceptable to all believers if there was no such thing as the holy scriptures.  Imagine religion if it resembled spirituality, where all we need for instruction is direct communications from God. Scriptures plant seeds of belief in us – preordaining us toward the Source – the God who wants to be made known through them. But in each case, the source and the authors have different styles and different goals. Scriptures may be inspired by the Creator, but they are written by man, and worse, manipulated by those with certain agendas.

That’s why we can all profess to worship the one God but don’t recognize the God of other religions, and feel uncomfortable because of it. We see good people worshiping a God Who historically demands the conversion of those who read a different scripture and we wonder. If God is the same God for everyone – and many of us instinctively feel there is one God and one Creator – could it be scripture that is poisoning us against each other?

You can answer this with a resounding “Yes!” and yet still hold your own scriptures close to your heart, just as someone else can halfway around the world. How is this possible? Because there are people who use scripture to seek God’s inspiration behind the words, and those who use the words to hit others over the head.  That’s why there are Christians who are beacons of hope in the dark, and those who are glaring lightbulbs over an interrogation chair. That’s why there are Muslims confident that theirs is a religion of peace, and those who want to reign destruction on everyone who isn’t like them. That’s why there are Jews who are so beaten down by the need to follow strict ritual that they have no time for love of God’s children, who should be benefiting from God’s laws.

But how would we know God if not for scripture? The same way God can be known in cultures which have no written word. God has written on our hearts everything we need to know. When we seek truth by looking into our own conscience, we find God ready and willing to dispense His knowledge and grace. Knowledge and grace directly from God – it’s never deceptive, never wrong, never misleading or prone to misinterpretation. It’s what we as humans do to His word after it’s given that sets us up for spiritual failure and fight.

When asked for sincerely, God’s insight is given – given abundantly and with great joyfulness. When insight is written down, it should not need interpretation – it means something to the person who got the guidance in the first place, and it means whatever God wants another to get out of it when it’s read. No human intervention is needed, or else God’s inspirations become dogma that needs to be defended.

We don’t have to be slaves to scripture.  Scripture is not meant to be a handbook for hate, or for intolerance. When it is used that way there is blasphemy against God’s intentions. But use scripture to guide you in asking for God’s personal communication to you through it, and you are praying the prayer that God loves. You can pray this way through any writing that touches you spiritually. You can find through the experience of others what God wants to teach you personally. This is a logical use of inspiration the way God intends. Always remember your personal place in God’s affections and His desire for you to experience Him. And when you pass along these inspirations, try to do it with love, tolerance, and compassion; not the heat of self-righteousness. God might not have the same message for others through this channel as He does for You. We are better off to leave it to Him to do the teaching.

We should be sharing beliefs; not demanding them. If there is only one Creator, one truth, one master plan, one reality, one eternity – there is an infinite number of ways God’s lessons can be taught. Don’t ever limit God to your capabilities. Put your capabilities before God for His instruction and shut up long enough to hear them. Then live this insight humbly and obediently, and God will surely not steer you wrong.

12/24/09 Inspirations              When I was a child I believed in hell. You went there when you died unbaptized or in mortal sin; there was no hope – there you stayed for eternity. If you were baptized but in lesser-than-mortal sin when you died, you went to purgatory. This was a place of suffering where you paid for your sins, but also a place of hope because when you were purified you went to heaven. Your friends and family and even total strangers could help you get out of there and into heaven by praying a certain way, and if during life you did this and that you could build up indulgences that would be redeemed against your time in purgatory – a sort of time off for good behavior. Limbo was a kind of purgatory where unbaptized babies who knew nothing of sin were stored. Heaven was for the baptized who hadn’t committed any sins since the last time they ate a wafer blessed by a priest.

Later on, when I began to analyze my beliefs, little of this seemed plausible so in my feeling of having been duped, I went as far as I could the other way. I stopped believing in most everything. I still believed in God, but I had no relationship with Him because He was tyrannical and distant and the less I had to do with Him the safer I was. I didn’t have much trouble being good – for the most part I was a natural goody two-shoes who wanted to be left alone. I treated my neighbor as I wanted to be treated myself — I left him alone.

Then a little over five years ago God took me in hand; He showed me wondrous things and told me about Himself. I found out He was a loving God who was familiar with every aspect of me, because He lived in me and all around me. I found out how to recognize Him in His works. I learned that heaven is all there is and we’ve all been there all along – our perception has been so clouded we don’t experience things as the really are. There isn’t one thing I can do to gain or lose heaven – it is what it is and will not change. It is very, very good because it is what God made, and God wants only good for us.

Life on Earth is an exile – not from heaven but from our proper experience of heaven. For God’s good reasons we can only experience unreality here. It’s a dream, sometimes better described as a nightmare of our own making. We are causing our own thoughts to be fogged up. Somehow through our own free will we made our own delusion, and only direct knowledge and grace from God can be trusted. I haven’t been shown how this exile happened, except that it must have originated from God’s goodness. Life on Earth is in God’s master plan and not to be feared because God’s master plan only leads to reality, and God’s reality is wonderful.

So God’s spirit infused in me not only told me things outright, but showed me how to interpret other things with a view geared towards His will and the reality He made for us to live in. For instance – do my inspired thoughts make the Bible a pack of lies? No, God inspired others long ago just as He inspires us today. There is much to be gleaned of the inspirations found in the Bible, but it has to be ferreted out by means of my own personal inspiration from God in order to find in it what is meant to be found. We can look at our own times to see how truth gets battered beyond recognition – the government, the media, the education and justice systems are always rewriting history to fit their own agendas and spinning statistics to fit their own theories. The Bible is a holy resource that has been handled by human beings to conform to human needs, just as all inspirational literature is. It is not purely God’s original word – for that one has to look to one’s own spirit, where God’s truth is written. And why wouldn’t it be this way? God loves us and wants to deal with us directly.

It was in the midst of scripture-abuse that God came down as Jesus. He set the record straight on what we were doing that was not conformable to God’s wishes. He demonstrated the joy of having a right-relationship with God by abandoning our will in favor of matching His. Jesus taught us how to live in prayer; to be prayer itself in our very words and deeds. He showed that the harshness of humanity seems very real to us the way we see it, but we will be resurrected from this bad dream and return our perception to the reality of heaven. He made an example for us by His very life – affirming that God’s spirit is here with us; that His inspiration is the only truth we have, and that only God’s knowledge and grace can be relied upon. If we need to know more, we can always come to God to ask.

Jesus proved that though we tend to focus on the wrong thing in this foreign environment, the right thing is always available to everyone and is as close as our own spirits, which God fills with Himself out of love for us. God wants us to break through the heavy curtain that separates us from Him and that keeps us from realizing the pure joy of our existence. His light does come through, encouraging us to take advantage of the kind of relationship Jesus identified for us, but we need to put forth the effort by letting God prepare our spirits.

We can know a bit of our joy which is hidden, and bask right here and now in the kind of glory that is ours in full after our own resurrection into reality. We were made for this and all God asks is to be asked to reveal it. Even with a right-relationship with God and direct communication with His word, we are still only works in progress and far from an all-encompassing insight into truth while we are in this world. But if we are sincere, obedient, and humble we can be Christ-like. When you think of the meaning of Christmas, you understand how it must satisfy God greatly when we are willing to be Christlike despite the nature of the world around us.

12/3/09 Insights from Study           God became visible to us as Jesus. When we look upon Jesus we see God in a way we can understand. This is done because God wants us to share in His nature so that we may honor Him and take our rightful place in His kingdom with Him.

Human beings wanted God’s intellect; to partake of the tree of knowledge. Jesus confirms how what is goodness is always known to us. God puts that in our hearts and through Jesus and His Holy Spirit God shows us how to live what is right. We are privileged to glimpse God’s infinite knowledge – some believe Jesus won this right for us; some believe that Jesus demonstrates this right. Whatever our belief, Jesus reminds us that God is knowable to us in the degree to which we can handle this knowledge.

We human beings also wanted autonomy; to feel the power of self-determination. God gave us free will and Jesus shows us how to give it over to God. Jesus is our affirmation that the Creator cares and, because He cares, He participates — in the universe and within each individual. We are worthy of our relationship with God – some believe Jesus won us this right; some believe that Jesus demonstrates this right. Whatever our belief, Jesus reminds us that God is personally and continuously involved in our lives, and we recognize this in the degree to which we welcome it.

We wanted the knowledge and grace that belonged to God. We didn’t exactly get what we wanted, because we wanted things that weren’t wholesome for us. So God gave us something better than what we wanted, and of course God does know what that is. God is still with us; it’s God’s Holy Spirit which gifts us with knowledge and grace as He sees fit.

11/27/09 Insights from Prayer          I’m always despairing over my lack of compassion. Last night it came to me that if, as I profess, I only want what God wants, I should be patient and trust that He leads me to compassion, even if it doesn’t seem like I’m anything other than unnecessary.

When I give money to charities, I’m still left emotionally flatlined. When I pray for others I feel fulfilled, yet only momentarily. My lifestyle is such that I seldom have an opportunity to connect with others. But when I write what comes so effortlessly to my mind when I’m enjoying the presence of God, only then is there the feeling that I do have something to do that’s purposeful.

How else will I know what is right for me unless I examine my feelings when I do it? We are all different – some contribute one way and some contribute another. My focus must be that if I truly live to love and honor God, whatever means speaks to that end must have God’s approval, no matter how it looks to me or fits in with what others are doing.

If God’s wish is mine, I should not be afraid to allow myself approval as well. In this state, I should have enough discernment to know that God is only goodness and so must be my motives and actions. I cannot rate myself on any other scale, because then I will be a victim of spiritual confusion.

11/15/09 Inspirations           Spirituality attends to the “rightness” of the way we are when we are wrapped up in God. Religion tells us we please God by following the rules of “rightness”.

This example of the difference came to me: A spiritual woman was so immersed in the things of God that she was seldom moved to look at herself in a mirror and didn’t feel that putting on makeup was important to her. So without giving it much thought, she didn’t wear makeup.

A religious woman was taught all her life that wearing makeup is a sign of wantonness and self-adoration, so she didn’t wear makeup because she believed to do so was to sin against God.

Both women were of a mind to do the right thing, but this “goodness” in the spiritual woman was an effect of abandonment of self to God while this same “goodness” in the religious woman was reached by adherence to law.

If you are waiting for me to tell you the spiritual woman’s way was more pure than the religious woman’s way, you need to hear about the third woman in my example. This woman belonged to a religion that didn’t put forward any tenet at all on the wearing of makeup, but the only time she wore makeup was at church. Why? Her thought was that all week long she sweated and toiled for the sake of keeping body and soul together. On Sunday she was going to church to worship her Creator and wanted to make herself look and feel special for the occasion.

And I don’t know for sure, but it seems logical that there are places in the world where a person doesn’t feel they’ve honored God properly if the ritual didn’t include full body makeup.

We really confuse ourselves when we allow ourselves to judge “goodness”, especially when we move beyond self-examination and into the realm of judging others. That’s precisely why I do believe in the purity of motive that comes with spirituality, even if religious and plain old secular “goodness” is fine as well. It’s because in spirituality we immerse ourselves in God first and exude goodness because we’ve taken on His attributes. We are good because God is good; not because God has given us rules to follow and we’ve followed them.

The less self-interest there is – when our own goodness surprises us – the more evident that we treat goodness as a gift from God instead of as a reason to be rewarded for our own work.

11/7/09 Reflections             Jesus was God manifesting Himself in the world in order to reach out to us in a familiar way so we can benefit by a divinely-apportioned measure of understanding. The Holy Spirit does this as well; it is God making Himself available to human experience in order that we may benefit from divine capabilities.

Why can’t we just leave it at that and absorb the grace in which this gift is given? No, people have to butt in and make up things so the explanation of God is sure to be done “the church way”, leaving any unchurched spirit open to judgment and condemnation.

I find the celebration of Jesus’ humanity especially disturbing the way it is done by churches. It’s as if we can never learn what the coming of Jesus was meant to tell us – that the God/man relationship is a thing perfected in heaven but we are welcome to it even if we can only experience it imperfectly in this life; that it’s not meant to be fully understood by us in order that we keep striving for it.

Instead we see Jesus treated as the Son of God with duties separate from God, as if he was not God. We humans have to give Him human attributes and human names in order for Him to be palatable to us. The Catholic faith is one kind of offender, in that it takes the essence of Jesus and then constructs all sorts of scenarios around Him so that He makes sense to us. The unknown circumstances of His humanity must be filled in and cataloged in such a way as they fit both scripture and human experience. What we end up with is not the awe and wonder of God reaching out to mankind, but a fully logical, and fully made up, explanation of God’s plans.

The same goes for those churches who think they need only to churn out Bible slaves in order to please God. Instead of filling in where scriptural information is lacking like the Catholic church does, these people take each sentence of scripture as the final, exact word, no matter how the sentence got there or how it fits in with the rest of the concept around it. The fact that there is so much infighting among them should be a clue that this method of understanding God isn’t the answer either. One would think, listening to them, that Jesus’ role was to perform a task for man so that people who don’t follow him can be condemned by God.

It all comes from trying to fit God’s plan into human understanding without consulting God. When you base your relationship with God on scripture only, you will probably be too intimidated to listen to God another way, and may never experience what God wants to say to you as an individual. Our churches frighten us with scripture in order that we do not become tempted to accept what God says to us personally. They fear losing control of us when God communicates with us directly. They tell us we open ourselves up to the devil when we pray for God’s guidance. They assure us that if it isn’t in scripture – and this is true in many religions – then it doesn’t exist, because God is incapable of having anything else to say. Really?

Many of us have tried to remain in our churches and still go to God for spiritual guidance. Many churches profess to encourage this, but we have found that when push comes to shove, we are not considered sophisticated enough to receive what God wants to give us. And so many of us have given up the pretense of church religion and gone the way our hearts have told us to go. 

I’m convinced that the Creator sees this as a step in the right direction and works with us in a special way in order to encourage this kind of spirituality worldwide. I believe this is His plan and it gives me a satisfying feeling of hope to know that it’s OK to step out of the feedlots our religions have fenced in for us. Nothing else is needed from man, because all is provided by God anyway. When God works in an individual, it doesn’t take many individuals to become a powerful, self-replicating force for good reaching across any and all human-made boundaries..

11/7/09 Inspirations          Ever since my Great Epiphany coming up on 5 years ago, I’ve been beating myself up over the fact that, much as I want to, I really don’t like people all that much.

Now that I feel so much closer to God, I assumed that I would become the ideal – someone who sees all human beings as children of God, and projects God’s love for His children as my own love for my brothers and sisters all-inclusively. When that didn’t happen I began to think of myself as the problem.

It’s true that the effort to love my neighbor is still my goal because it fits with what I know of what God wants, but the closer I get to God the further I get from people in general. The contrast between divinity and humanity becomes clearer and more essential the more I know of God. I had thought the more I experienced God the more adept I would be in pleasing Him. But when it comes to other people, all I have gained is a clearer, and darker, view of humanity.  I see us as walking egos, opposed to the goodness and mercy of God at every turn.

As the contrast between divinity and humanity grows in knowledge and grace in me, I’ve seemed to have drifted in the opposite direction that greater experience of God should have led me. Is this God teaching me through contrast again? I believe it is. Somehow it fits that this disdain for humanity, including my own, must dominate me for a while. It is a process I must learn to accept and quit fighting against.

With the darkest view of what people are as a whole emerges a brightness whenever an individual breaks through with unexpected goodness. This is what I am meant to learn in the main – that individuals can overcome the egoism of humanity and radiate loving attributes of divinity. And they do if I look with purpose for this phenomenon. Because I’ve concentrated on the worst that is in people I am that much more in awe of the goodness of individuals when it emerges out of the darkness.

This is a theory, but one thing I do know is that God is working on me as He is working on us all. What a privilege to be shaped by our Creator, and to be able to contribute to the process with His blessing.