The Light in the Woods

2/28/10 Inspirations                  Meditation, contemplation, scripture study, litany and liturgy – all processes done to remove the world from our thoughts long enough to bring the Creator to the forefront are things good for peace of mind. But to acquire pure inner peace that lasts because it becomes the nature of our spirit, this is the ultimate comfort state.

We begin by ascribing all that is to God. We see Him as a loving God, ever merciful and ever forgiving. Only this kind of God makes us worthy of this kind of love. Then we acknowledge that if we give over our lives to God first and foremost, we will not only honor Him but gain for ourselves knowledge and grace through a new perception of His ongoing gifts to mankind. We will see too the nature of God’s reality – the kingdom to which we were born and still wait for our faulty, worldly perception to catch up to.

We live assured of pure joy, and we catch glimpses of this waiting reality. Through God’s loving attention we get heightened sensory input triggered by seeing the things around us in a fresh, God-toward way. The more attuned we are to things that are important to God, the more willing we are to receive these gifts from Him, and the more adept we are at appreciating them.

This, finally, is how we maintain a constant inner peace – by armoring ourselves against worldly strife with our focus on the bliss of reality that’s being covered up by worldly influences. When we recognize the joy of God, we immerse our spirits in Him to the point where we can exist happily even within the stress of our daily lives. This is inner peace, available to all.

2/27/10 Spiritual Presentations           I love You my God, for making it clear that You are here, You know me well, and You love me enough to let me know something about it. I must have prayed sincerely and properly for the release of my pain, because it happened immediately and decisively. Much more than my healing, I value how You have given me Your word, letting me know that it’s right to believe, to ask, and to offer.

I worship You and I honor those mystics who have come before me. They have told of their experiences as well as they could, and You have guided me to study their lesson. All this love is not lost on me. Thank You for Your love – I want, more than anyone but You can know, to have the chance to pour out my love to You in return. I promise to take every opportunity to do this, and still, as always, I ask for Your help in every aspect of my life to be whatever pleases You.

You created me as Your child. Everything You do is for my good, even pain. I don’t need to know nor am I likely to find out what purpose you have for my pain. Sometimes I feel like it’s there so that I can know great relief when the pain passes. Sometimes pain reminds me of all the things in my life that can be painful but aren’t, because of Your mercy. Sometimes my pain makes me compassionate towards the pain others are going through. Even when the agony goes on despite my prayers, I at least have a higher comfort – that of knowing I am accepting of Your plan without complaint; proof that I hold You in higher esteem than I hold myself.

2/19/10 Spiritual Presentations        

For quite a while now I haven’t believed heaven to consist of anything other than pure joy. To me this means that nothing of our earthly lives is needed to complete our heavenly lives – friends, relatives, pets, or places that we loved on Earth. Even if you discount that the presence of acquaintances must cause disruption as well as joy, just as they did on Earth, it still seems that they would not be necessary and therefore would be redundant.

It’s my intuition that only God’s presence is necessary for complete joy. But there is something endearing about the possibility of being greeted by loved ones as we approach heaven. After all, the fear of death makes us cling to the thought that we will be helped into the transition by people we know and trust. Yet it doesn’t ring true to me, as the concept of “God is All” is so ingrained in my mysticism, and wishing for something else in heaven seems sacrilegious.

I guess there would be no harm, though, in speculating about these wondrous things, much in the way we review what we would do with a million dollars if we won the lottery. I think it’s human nature, since we don’t know for sure about something that’s inevitable, to make up what we would like to be true just as an exercise.

Tonight as we were ice fishing we were discussing how the people in the stories we tell all seem to have passed on. I mentioned that I’m old enough that I think I know more deceased people than living ones. This got me to thinking that the moment of death must not be too hard to handle, since so many have done it. From there I began to reflect on how people might envision their entry into heaven.

There standing on the huge expanse of lake, the enormity of God’s work came to mind. As wondrous as it is here, how awesome it must be in heaven, where we get the full effect of God. I began to play with thoughts of what I’d like to witness as I pass over, even though it’s my theology that the presence of God will comprise my ecstasy and that alone will be enough for me. I went from being able to eat whatever I want without fullness or guilt to having unlimited opportunity to spend my own time however I want. I thought of the things on Earth I didn’t like and gave some thought to how it would feel to not have to worry about them.  I envisioned a lack of responsibility; the freedom to have my head in the clouds instead of on worldly considerations.

At the end of this exercise I looked out onto the lake and was struck by something I don’t remember ever having noticed before. I never realized how beautiful the smell of warm snow is when the sun starts to go down and the cold starts to bring all the senses into sharpness. It’s like a prayer, a gift, and a comfort from God that all is well because He wills it to be. When we see how God presents beautiful things like the smell of snow to us here on Earth, we can be comforted that He really does want only good for us and is capable of providing it in His mercy – now and on into eternity.

2/5/10 Reflections                    The knowledge we need of God is in us. Our hearts beat and our lungs exchange air without our intellectual input, and our minds apprehend God in the same way.

Lately, science is pin-pointing where in the brain that function resides, just as it has found the core location of other brain functions. This is good in that it admits the universal awareness of God we experience. But prideful man will probably interfere with this as in other things, and no doubt some megalomaniac will eventually mandate that the “God center” of an infant’s brain be deactivated at birth as a matter of course. Which all goes to show that while Creator-awareness is a normal function of a human being, Creator-knowledge must come to us in other ways; ways which science and megalomaniacs can’t touch.

God did not have to create the universe at all. His reality abides without it – always has and always will. The fact that He did create the universe implies a plan; a plan that takes place no matter how much humans interfere. Man’s need to experience God will not be impaired. What’s important is that we allow our full and certain joy of God-awareness however we can and in whatever ways God devises for our happiness. It’s hard-wired in us – what God desires is for our good, and what is good for us is what God plans from the beginning. Denying it gains us nothing, and denying it in others is impossible if the other person values a relationship with God. Need for God cannot be taken away, because it is supplied by God.

1/31/10 Reflections          I’ve been thinking a lot about the children’s ward lately — about how it tested my faith in God’s mercy plan, and how it returned me to my faith tenfold over the years through the deep peace of supernatural insight.

While visiting my brother, who was bedridden with multiple sclerosis and in a nursing home, it was necessary for my other brother and I to go to the office on some business. The home was doing some renovations, which made us have to detour through the children’s ward to get to the office. As we were admitted we were told walk straight through, not to interact, and to make as little as noise as possible so as to not disturb the children.

What I saw in the children’s ward is almost beyond description. There were small misshapen bodies in all sorts of contortions; blank expressions on faces that didn’t look like humanity so much as things closeted away until no longer needing care. Their beds or wheelchairs lined both sides of the hallway — as we walked the gauntlet of unspeakable aberrations, in the midst of what the coldest-hearted human would call insufferable, there wasn’t any noise; just the silence of tolerated existence.

When we finally got through the opposite doorway, I told my brother this was a real test of my faith, which depends on the love of God for all His creation. It did one thing, though – it caused me to keep coming back to reflect on what little I know of God’s reasoning, and how I can only believe that what He does He does for our good. Then slowly the lesson of the children’s ward was taught to me within my spirit, and has given me a deeper, more peaceful intuition of the working of God’s love than I think I could have ever had without the experience.

I see now that we cannot care for each other properly. No matter how dire the circumstances and how tirelessly we work for our fellow human beings, we cannot give them what they truly need. Only God can do that. The most dedicated nurse on the children’s ward can only comfort the bodies of the children, and help them remain emotionally neutral.

Their bodies may be decimated, but who knows what they’re seeing inside? Only God can offer that comfort, and somehow I’ve come away with complete assurance that He does. Behind those distorted shells, could the children be experiencing the golden glowing joy of God’s perfect love as do those who have already passed on into His kingdom? If real meaning only exists in another world where God is the only god and our spirits gather Him fully and ecstatically, could those that are physically dependent and mentally unencumbered with worldly priorities be blessed with heavenly bliss here on Earth and unable to tell of it?

In fact, I’ve come into the knowledge that those children are experiencing the beauty of God the way God meant humans to experience Him — how we all would if our minds and bodies were disabled and given over solely to God’s care. In this condition of having nothing else, we enjoy the one thing we do have, unconditionally and without fail — the love of God.

Mystics are able to see the logic of their detachment from the world and negations of self-interest. To them the loss of selfhood is not debilitation so much as essential to experiencing something much better and closer to God’s desires. And those who study the Bible know well the scriptural plea for decreasing so they may increase, giving up all they have and following, taking no scrip for the journey, becoming like little children, the last being first, choosing the good part, letting them deny themselves, taking up the cross, losing their life for God’s sake, having their treasure in heaven, being poor in spirit, crying in the wilderness, the stone the builders rejected, casting in all they had, taking the lowest seat at the feast, seeking the kingdom of God, and entering at the narrow gate.

God should like us to be what we were at creation, before free-will and the sin and suffering that comes from it. For truth, that’s the state He has planned for us to return to in glory. Now, in the world, the independence we asked for has become a thing of strife. The only way to alleviate it is to allow ourselves to become totally dependent on God again so we may look upon His kingdom with joy and hope.

In the children’s ward this has been done for them and they live in the perfect presence of God without effort. Only those who give too much credence to the world and how we perceive it will miss completely what I missed momentarily – that the only thing that matters is the love of God, and whatever state we are in that we can perceive this love the most is the best state to be in. In the measure that we can’t assimilate this, we suffer from our lack of perception. That, then, is true and needless suffering.

I’m not suggesting that those who take care of the residents of the children’s ward don’t provide a heroic service – the need for care of these children’s bodies and emotions is enormous, and I hope for the caregivers’ sake that part of their compensation is the feeling of being blessed to be near these special temples of God’s love. But I am confident that God makes up for suffering by opening up the spirit to supernatural consolation. And this, being the better part, is what God encourages for all of us by our offering of our very selves to Him — a disabling of the ego so as to make His love our spiritual sustenance.

Mystic vision is not apparitions caught by our human senses. Mystic vision is the ability to see things as God sees them; a gift given because we want it badly and allow it freely. Through mystic vision we are able to “know properly” — not the things of this world but the reality of this world as seen from a higher plane. This is a comfort not only to the residents of the children’s ward, but to anyone who can learn exactly what it is they are experiencing. What we can know of God comes down to one necessary specific – that when we seek God we see Him, because that’s what we were made for. And when we see Him we know at once that no matter who we are, or how we look, or what we have or don’t have, without His love we would be nothing and with His love we are everything.

1/7/09 Insights from Study         More than one of today’s devotionals touches upon an attribute of mine that puzzles me. I often need God’s assurance on something that has been in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember. I hate to say it out loud because it sounds like a delusion of grandeur, even though no feeling of pride actually comes with it at all. But I have felt since I was a child that I have a special mission for God and I have been waiting rather obliviously for His “go-ahead”.

I don’t usually dwell on this, trying to figure out intellectually what I know can only come to me inspirationally, but it is ever there in quiet expectation. Whatever it is I am to do, I must not be ready for it as yet. I feel like I’m actively being prepared but there’s no clue as to the progress in what I’m being prepared for. It’s as if God hides my purpose so I don’t waste my effort in bumbling attempts to gear myself toward the work.

This call for patience isn’t a cause of anxiety – in fact this unknowing brings me a certain calm because I know the answer will come surely and supernaturally. All responsibility lies in the hands of the Creator, who not only treats me with love but is also very good at setting right things into place. But I’m sixty years old – sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I could have somehow missed the ship. Yet if that were so, why would I have this feeling of preparation?

Anyway, today’s theme seems to be that I will not be going anywhere on my mission; that I will be sought out right where I am. That makes sense in two ways. First is that as the years go by my odd distaste for leaving home for any reason gets stronger and more apparent. Second, I live in a place steeped in spirituality, where the presence of God can call to a person mystically, forcefully, and somewhat continuously. Today I read reminders that this narrow path I take is that way for a reason. Maybe as I record what comes to me in God’s presence I am already affecting His plans in ways I don’t even recognize. I may die tomorrow and find my mission is already done. Stay home and love God – easy for me and what I’d choose to do anyway. God hasn’t matched my job to my temperament; He’s given me the mission and matched me with the temperament I need to accomplish it.

12/25/09 Insights from Prayer              Christmas proves what every mystic knows from experience – God has many ways of appearing to us. It’s not always about majesty and power – our connections with God’s word are usually no more spectacular than another baby being born. But what mightiness there is in small things when we can recognize them as the presence of God. I feel sorry for anyone who can’t grasp the workings of God for their own experience. That God walks among us even here and now should inspire awe in us all. Life is a house of cards in the wind – it’s only God holding us up that makes us possible. We really are seeing God, but we see Him in an unfamiliar way – with the eyes of the spirit. Lately I feel as though we have drifted so far off the trail again that it’s time for God to come to us in a way we can see with our bodily vision. Would we greet Him with relief and joy, or crucify Him once more?

12/8/09 Insights from Study                The mystic process goes from detachment to discernment to abandonment to perfect perception – all being towards a unitive relationship with our Creator. The mind of God is vast; we can be of one mind with Him and still have room left for individuality. It’s often through our individual assignments that God has caused His wishes to be done.

We can’t know everything there is to know of the sin and imperfection that holds us back, but God does, and that’s why we turn all we have over to Him. Body, mind, soul and spirit – God purifies the whole of us though it isn’t necessary for us to know how. When our intellect, emotion, and will are served by God instead of used for lesser things, we have let go of human-control and aligned ourselves with God’s immanence, which is always there.

This is how it is in the reality we’ve forgotten through having to live this life. That’s why we have so much spiritual doubt here – our perception is flawed; we sense this and feel melancholy for the true-perception that is our life with God. Having become disassociated with God we can expect here on Earth only hints at the remembrance of our perfection, and those joys are available only through God’s love and mercy towards us. But with God’s grace we can offer up to Him the very things that are the result of man’s disassociation with God. We are moved to do this through divine insight and we use our own free will to gather God’s grace close.

Our estrangement from perfection shouldn’t be a cause for despair, because we know that we lead truly joyous lives with God in the dimension of reality. Though we can’t understand what that’s like now, when we open up our mystical senses – those attuned to how we really are – we can experience some of that joy even in this imperfect life. This is what mystics do, because in this direction lies the freedom for perfect worship of God the Creator. We always respond to goodness with joy and welcome. Pure worship is simple — we honor God when we desire to return to the state in which He created us.

11/12/09 Inspirations              Imagine if there was no such thing as time or space. You would look out on the world from where you stand and say to yourself — ”This is what is. What is here and now is everything there is, just as it is.”

That’s the way things are in Reality – in God’s kingdom, the world as it is without the scales that cover our eyes. In God’s kingdom, this eternity – life without time or space – is the beautiful sum of God’s love. But to us, infinity is frightening because we have become used to the illusion of time and space, and we cannot really imagine existence without them.

And so we try to imagine heaven but fail in that we keep returning to the earthly measurements of time and space. “OK, so there’s heaven and it’s wonderful and it never ends. Except, everything must have an end!” No, just when you’ve expanded your mind to include a life that goes on forever, you’re already imagining the end that must come. You circle around infinity, trying to both embrace and erase within your understanding the concept of endlessness, but you can’t do it, and this frightens you to the point where you can no longer contemplate heaven without unease. But you’ll be back, because as frightening and incomprehensible as eternity is, you would rather face it in consciousness instead of in the black and silent nothingness that would be it’s alternative.

This is why humans, all humans, are pre-programmed for trust in the Creator, whether we acknowledge it or not. We with our minuscule capacity for knowledge can only be immobilized by fear or comforted by faith.  Without this faith that something higher than we are will make everything all right, we are lost in our own home and afraid to leave it.

There are some who claim that when a person finds comfort in faith in God, that in itself is evidence of their delusion; in “real life” we don’t get what we want by wishful thinking, we get it by luck or hard work. But those with faith in God are functioning above and beyond this temporal, worldly life, and worldly measurements do not work there. On this higher plane we do get what we want by wishful thinking. It’s called prayer, and if we pray to be in sync with God’s master plan, we will of course be comforted. The mightiest prayer is “Lord, Your will is done – help me be content in that and I will have comfort in all things.”

The antidote for fear is faith. If you trust in the goodness of an all-wise and all-powerful Creator, what is left to fear?

8/27/09 Inspirations                My own thoughts of God are so overwhelming I feel like I leave my world to enter His. There, some place where time and space don’t matter, God and I are so familiar with one another that conversation isn’t needed and yet information flows unimpeded. I feel comfortable here, like I’m having to travel but can be at home in unexpected moments of respite. In these times, smiling with God over the glory behind everything He’s created, I am so in touch with Him it’s as if I had created these things myself.

Experts tell us we can’t know God, but I believe knowing God is our final destiny, and along the way, if we allow Him to live in us unreservedly, God will allow us a more glorious look at Him.

These moments of mine I know very well but cannot display to anyone else – my purpose in this is to let those who have already experienced what I’m talking about know that the things of God are not hidden from everyone at all times. If God is walking with you, then you are blessed, and you are the expert you need to heed.