These entries are notes I took and am still taking to record my progress (and often reversion) in my walk with God and the inspirations that happen along the way.
Please understand that I wrote down what I was feeling at the time; be kind in your criticism. Some of these entries no longer apply to what I now believe, because as I progress, the intuitions, insights, study and reflections clarify matters. God has lovingly developed in me a spiritual sophistication that colors the later entries and, obvious to me, wasn't there at all in the beginning.
But still, these entries have been quickly written down with paper and pen, often in the dark, and they aren't meant to be fully thought-out scholarly works. It isn't easy to keep each thought in the front of my mind especially when they're pounding at me one right after another. Sometimes I take rough notes; sometimes I dictate onto tape, but either way it spoils the mood to try to get everything down at the time it comes to me, and in fact many times it feels like an affront to God to do so. I have to relax and trust Him to help me remember the important things.
Some of the inspirations may not sound very advanced, but that's because the feeling I had when I got them can't be put into words, and the feeling is the most important part of it. When you are being spoken to by God you know it even though you can't explain it. The word of God doesn't change, so it would be unusual for a revelation to have never been covered by someone else in another time -- they are revelations to me; not necessarily to anyone else.
You'd think that being spoken to by God would be a life-changing experience, yet an interesting twist to true inspirations is that you tend to forget them! This may be part of God's plan so that you don't become attached to the revelation and forget worship of God as your first priority. But you never forget the feeling behind them. My study reveals that God tends to pile on the favors when a person first begins their walk towards Him, then pull them back just as the person is getting used to them and feeling that they deserve them always. The result is depression and despair, and it's how you work through this that tells you where you stand. This turned out to be pretty much what happened to me. Some entries are tainted by my emotions at the time, but it's amazing how I can see my personality change in the course of this journey to where my outlook has evened out considerably.
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